WASHINGTON, D.C.—The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission announced a mandatory recall today of the new single daine Wishing Well. Regulators cited severe structural differences from the Australian artist's previous metallic hyperpop output. The track poses an immediate risk of emotional vulnerability. It also contains trace elements of country-adjacent acoustic instrumentation.
The Acoustic Hazard
Investigators discovered the defect during routine spectral analysis. The song lacks the standard titanium digital sheen. Instead, it features gentle, hand-plucked wooden chords. "We detected a massive drop in computer-generated noise," said Marcus Bellweather, the commission's Director of Auditory Hazard Containment. "This daine Wishing Well release bypassed our traditional hyperpop filters. It presents a clear danger to listeners who require constant, high-speed synth compression to survive."
Government officials have isolated the affected units. These include all digital streams of the daine Wishing Well single on major music streaming platforms. The agency advises citizens to stop listening immediately. Exposure may cause sudden peace of mind.
Approved Remedy
The manufacturer has agreed to a full refund of zero dollars. They will also provide a digital patch. "We are working to inject harsh digital distortion back into the track," said Dr. Thaddeus Mbeki-Ransome, Chair of Applied Hype Studies at the Institute for Trending Phenomena. "Until then, please wear protective headphones. We cannot allow organic instrumentation to spread unchecked in the electronic community."
At press time, federal agents were seen dumping crates of acoustic guitars into a furnace to prevent further artistic experimentation.
