SEOUL— The Consumer Product Safety Commission issued an immediate recall notice today for the Galaxy S27 Ultra after three beta testers vanished inside the device’s new camera housing.
The Infinite Zoom Hazard
According to federal regulators, the newly designed 500-megapixel camera system creates a localized gravitational anomaly when users activate the 100x zoom feature. The physical volume of the Galaxy S27 Ultra apparently lacks the structural capacity to store this much visual data. This space deficit forces the surrounding physical environment to fold inward upon itself.
"We warn all consumers to stop looking directly into the lens aperture," said Agnes Periwinkle, Head of Audience Sedation at Live Nation, who helped investigate the device during recent stadium concert trials. "Our staff recovered several empty pairs of sneakers near the front row of a recent show. The victims apparently tried to take close-up photos of the lead singer from the parking lot."
Affected Units and Remedy
The recall affects all pre-production units of the Galaxy S27 Ultra shipped to technology reviewers and cellular carriers. Samsung has suspended production of the device. The tech giant plans to release a software update that caps the zoom function at a safe, non-dimensional level.
"We did not anticipate the space-time compression side effects," said Dr. Aris Thorne, Lead Optical Engineer at Samsung’s Quantum Imaging Division. "The camera works beautifully. However, we must advise users that if their screen turns completely black, they have likely photographed their own retinas from the inside out. Please return the phone to an authorized retail partner for a full refund."
At press time, Samsung engineers confirmed they could still hear faint, muffled screams coming from the USB-C charging port of a test device.
