WASHINGTON—The Consumer Product Safety Commission issued an urgent recall today for the GTA 6 soundtrack due to severe safety hazards. Drivers nationwide reported a sudden, uncontrollable urge to ram police cruisers. The agency linked these incidents directly to the game's pre-release music. Music from Tom Petty and Sexyy Red apparently triggers extreme reckless driving in standard commuter sedans.
Severe Audiological Hazards Detected
Officials identified the primary hazard as "acute digital bravado." This condition causes mild-mannered drivers to believe they possess five-star evasion skills. The affected units include all digital streams, pre-orders, and promotional broadcasts of the Rockstar Games audio package. "We observed a 400% spike in civilian drift attempts," said Barnaby Quill, Senior Analyst of Unsolicited Forecasts at Goldman Sachs. "Most of these occurred in school zones during the Tom Petty chorus."
Affected Units and Immediate Remedy
The recall covers every song in the GTA 6 soundtrack revealed so far. This includes classics by Depeche Mode and Phil Collins. Regulators warn that the drum break in 'In the Air Tonight' causes drivers to launch their minivans over drawbridges. The commission orders all citizens to immediately delete the GTA 6 soundtrack from their mobile devices. To remedy the issue, the publisher will replace the high-octane playlist with a 12-hour loop of low-fidelity elevator jazz.
At press time, the agency warned that even humming the Bass Drum of Death track would result in an immediate loss of six license points.
