PHILADELPHIA— Power-pop band Hurry announced their new album Tuesday. The record is titled Zoned Out. It will be released in July. This marks three years since their last album. Hurry previously released Don’t Look Back. The band stated they were “very excited” about the new material. They also expressed hope for “eventual coherence.” Critics noted the title’s strong foreshadowing. Many wondered if the band had been listening to their own music. The theme of distraction permeated the announcement. Hurry’s last album came out in 2021. It was a critical success. It also sold extremely well. The band is currently signed to Lame-O Records.
A Collective State Of Mind
Fans expressed mixed reactions to the news. Some were thrilled by the prospect of new music. Others worried about the album’s thematic implications. “I just hope they remember to actually release it,” said fan Brenda Peterson. Peterson is the self-appointed president of the Hurry Fan Club. She has been following the band for seven years. “It’s good they’re Zoned Out for the album, but what about actually promoting it?” she added. Her concerns were echoed by many online. The announcement itself was reportedly delayed by several hours. Staffers claimed they could not locate the band members. They were reportedly “somewhere else entirely.”
The Long Road To Distraction
The band’s previous album, Don’t Look Back, was praised for its clarity. It featured sharp songwriting. It also had incredibly catchy melodies. Music journalists called it a “masterpiece of focused energy.” This new direction has raised eyebrows. “We’ve always strived for authenticity,” said Hurry’s lead singer. He identified himself only as “Kev.” He was speaking from an undisclosed location. He claimed he was “pretty sure” he was in his apartment. “If the album is called Zoned Out, then we have to be zoned out,” he reasoned. “It’s called method acting for musicians.” He then reportedly trailed off mid-sentence. He was last seen staring intently at a dust bunny. Modern Baseball’s Ian Farmer also contributed to the album. He was unavailable for comment. He was reportedly busy “trying to find his keys.” The band hopes to tour behind the album. Dates are expected to be announced. Eventually. Maybe.
At press time, Hurry released a single from the album. It was called “I Can’t Find The Remote.” The song clocks in at 45 seconds.
This article is satirical fiction by Badum.ai. All quotes, people, and events described are entirely fictional and intended for comedic purposes only.
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