AUSTIN—The super PAC known as MAGA Inc. made its first major general election spend of the year by air-dropping giant canvas sacks filled with $10 million into the state of Texas. Witnesses confirmed the burlap sacks featured large, hand-painted dollar signs on the side.
A Very Direct Contribution
The group opted out of wire transfers. Instead, they loaded a vintage cargo plane to deliver the funds directly. The move bypasses traditional banking networks entirely. Local officials reported several sacks crashed through the roof of the state capitol building. They landed directly on the desk of Attorney General Ken Paxton.
"We wanted to ensure our support was felt immediately and physically," said Beverly Vance, Deputy Director of Heavy Logistics for MAGA Inc. "You cannot hold a digital bank transfer in your hands. But you can drag a giant, heavy sack across the floor while it clinks loudly. It is about sending a message. And also, we found these bags on sale at an army surplus store."
The Logistics of Large Sacks
State treasury workers spent most of Tuesday untying thick hemp ropes. They verified the contents using old-fashioned balance scales. The delivery has caused minor property damage but major excitement among local strategists. Critics questioned the legality of dropping heavy currency from the sky. However, supporters praised the raw simplicity of the transaction.
"It really streamlines the campaign finance process," said Dr. Helene Vasquez-Thorne, Lead Researcher at the Center for Studies That Confirm What You Already Suspected. "Our research shows that politicians react 40% faster to giant piles of physical cash than to digital spreadsheets. It triggers a deep, ancestral hoarding instinct."
At press time, several Texas state senators were spotted wearing black-and-white striped shirts while carrying crowbars and empty pillowcases near the treasury office.
