Politics
Redistricting Tactics to Win Any Election in 2024
Discover the most extreme redistricting tactics politicians use to carve up voting districts and guarantee election victories.
Tagged: Texas (19)
Politics
Leaked Memo Reveals Strategy to Win Back Suburban Women Souring on Paxton
Leaked internal memo reveals campaign tactics to win back suburban women souring on Paxton through canvas totes and pastel fonts.
Politics
James Talarico Launches Campaign Tour to Stand Silently in Every Buc-ee’s
The James Talarico Campaign Tour kicks off across Texas, bringing silence and intense eye contact to convenience stores statewide.
Politics
Texas Senate Race Strained As Ted Cruz Manually Pushes Ken Paxton Across Finish Line
A court transcript reveals the Texas Senate race required Ted Cruz to physically push Ken Paxton across the finish line using industrial winches.
Politics
Federal Recall Issued For 2026 Midterm Election Campaigning
Regulators issue a massive product recall for 2026 midterm election campaigning due to extreme voter exhaustion risks.
Politics
Politician Absence Caused By Being At Home The Whole Time
A mysterious politician absence baffled analysts until photos revealed he was simply sitting on his couch with a mild flu.
Politics
Texas Rally Rocked by Protesters Demanding Louder Microphones
A Texas rally rocked by protests faced unexpected disruption when activists demanded better sound engineering for their chants.
Politics
Judge Blocks Big Bend Border Wall Until Coyotes Pay For It
A federal judge has halted the Big Bend border wall until local desert wildlife can establish proper credit to pay for the construction.
Politics
GOP Midterm Convention Memo Demands Staff Refer To All Candidates As Trump
A leaked memo from the GOP midterm convention reveals that staff must refer to all political candidates as Trump to keep the crowd excited.
Politics
Trumpapalooza Midterm Convention Features Giant Water Slide Shaped Like Donald Trump
The Trumpapalooza midterm convention kicks off in Texas with a massive three-story water slide shaped like Donald Trump.
Politics
Trump-a-palooza Organizers Insist Festival Features Other Acts
Organizers of Trump-a-palooza insist the political festival features a diverse lineup and is not just one man speaking for three days straight.
Politics
MAGA Inc Sends $10M to Texas via Giant ACME Canvas Sacks with Dollar Signs
Donald Trump's super PAC MAGA Inc sends $10M to Texas using giant canvas sacks marked with dollar signs to bypass traditional banking.
Politics
Texas Blocks Flock Cameras in Favor of Cheaper Human Spies
Texas blocks Flock cameras to implement a cheaper, more judgmental system of human-based surveillance.
Music
Yungblud Drops Off Cowboys Fest After Addressing ‘Industry Plant’ Accusations
Yungblud withdrew from a music festival after addressing ‘industry plant’ accusations. He cited emotional distress from the false claims.
Politics
Texas Senate Race To Feature Two Populists, Both Claiming To Be The Real One
The Texas Senate race features two populists, leaving voters confused about which candidate’s anger is more authentic. Who will win?
Music
Ella Langley’s ‘Choosin’ Texas’ Dominates Hot 100 For Eighth Week
Ella Langley’s ‘Choosin’ Texas’ is No. 1 again. Fans are apparently still choosin’ Texas over all other states.
Music
Ella Langley’s ‘Choosin’ Texas’ Two-Steppin’ To Sixth Week Atop Hot 100
Ella Langley’s ‘Choosin’ Texas’ stays No. 1 for six weeks as Olivia Dean’s ‘Be Her’ hits top 10, proving women are choosin’ the chart.
Music
Valero Refinery Blast Unveils Interdimensional Corporate Retreat
Following a Valero refinery blast, employees transcended traditional work-life balance, discovering a new realm of perpetual corporate engagement.