OAKLAND—Local crows are striking after the release of the new single by Oakland alt-country band Mildred. The avian community claims the track, which sparks the viral Mildred Bird Laugh trend, directly plagiarizes their morning communication routines. The birds have officially stopped scavenging for shiny garbage until they receive writing credits.
1. The Mildred Bird Laugh trend goes viral
TikTok users are posting videos of themselves cackling at pigeons. The band's signature slacker twang has accidentally energized the local bird population. The birds now demand standard streaming residuals.
2. Corvids hire legal representation
The local crow flock retained entertainment lawyer Marcus Featherstone to represent their publishing interests. 'My clients did not spend centuries perfecting the ominous caw just to be sampled for free by indie rockers,' Featherstone said.
3. TikTok enforces vibe compliance
The Mildred Bird Laugh trend has forced tech platforms to intervene. 'We are seeing unprecedented levels of avian copyright claims,' said Priya Vantablack, Chief Vibes Compliance Officer at TikTok. 'If a crow makes a sound on our platform, they deserve their micro-pennies.'
4. The band denies any intentional theft
Members of Mildred insist they wrote the song about human laughter, not avian mockery. They claim their easygoing looseness naturally mimics the chaotic energy of a backyard blue jay. However, ornithologists remain highly skeptical of this defense.
5. Crows begin counter-protest with terrible guitar solos
In retaliation, hundreds of crows have gathered on power lines to mimic sloppy Pavement riffs at 5:00 AM. Neighborhood residents report the birds are actually tuning their caws to an open G chord. At press time, the crows agreed to drop the lawsuit in exchange for three stale french fries and a shiny bottle cap.
