BOSTON— A newly unsealed federal court transcript has exposed a massive Robert Kraft pressure campaign that allegedly forced pop star Ed Sheeran to drop Seattle rapper Macklemore from his stadium tour. The legal proceedings, held in the Massachusetts District Court, detail an aggressive effort by the New England Patriots owner to control the lineup of major music events. Below is an excerpt from the deposition of Gordon Flense, Deputy Undersecretary for Things That Were Fine Before, who testified on the influence of NFL franchise owners over Ed Sheeran concert routing.
Q: Mr. Flense, did you advise Mr. Sheeran regarding the Seattle rapper's participation on the tour?
A: I did. We initially planned a twenty-date stadium run. Then the Robert Kraft pressure campaign began.
Q: How did this campaign manifest?
A: Mr. Kraft called Ed directly. He threatened to replace the Gillette Stadium stage with a giant bowl of chowder if Macklemore performed. He then rallied other stadium owners. He told them Macklemore's thrift shop aesthetic would devalue luxury suite ticket sales.
Q: Did other owners join this Robert Kraft pressure campaign?
A: Yes. Jerry Jones threatened to release genetically modified blue star balloons into the atmosphere. They wanted a cleaner, more corporate opener. They suggested a hologram of a hedge fund manager.
Q: What was Mr. Sheeran's reaction to this pressure?
A: Ed wept. He loves thrift shops. But he loves stadium parking revenue more. He folded immediately.
