Politics
Campaign Trail Cruelty Guidelines Distributed To Democratic Staffers
Internal memo outlines approved campaign trail cruelty limits for field staff during the upcoming midterm election season.
Tagged: Democratic Party (13)
Politics
Arkansas Democrats Discover Geographic Opening Is Just a literal Ravine
Local strategists realized the long-awaited Arkansas Democrats opening was actually a massive, muddy ravine running through the Ozarks.
Politics
7 Creative Ways Kamala Harris Wasted Her Entire Year
A detailed look into how Kamala Harris wasted her entire year using innovative delay tactics.
Politics
Red Territory Expansion Kits Recalled Due To Severe Cash Shortage Hazard
Federal regulators recall Democratic Red Territory Expansion Kits due to a severe cash shortage hazard that leaves campaigns completely broke.
Politics
Democrats' Advantage Clear in Leaked Memo Outlining Plan to Relocate Kentucky
A leaked memo reveals that the Democrats' advantage is clear after plans surfaced to physically drag Kentucky thirty miles north.
Politics
Rhode Island Primary Meltdown Exposed in Shocking Court Testimony
A shocking court transcript reveals how political consultants manipulated the recent Rhode Island primary for fun and profit.
Politics
Secret Kushner Meeting Revealed To Be Elaborate Wax Museum Prank
A secret Kushner meeting between Hakeem Jeffries and a wax figure has sparked intense backlash ahead of the midterms.
Politics
Pete Buttigieg Launches Campaign To Make South Carolina Slightly More Beige
Pete Buttigieg returns to South Carolina with an exciting new initiative to make the state slightly more beige.
Music
Colorado Democrats Brace for Slightly Jarring, Yet Ultimately Minor, Tremor
Colorado Democrats brace for an “insurgent earthquake” that experts predict will primarily affect the party’s potted plants and maybe cause a light breeze.
Politics
Bluest House Seat Redistricting Sparks Existential Crisis Over Shade
Bluest House Seat Redistricting efforts have plunged local Democrats into an existential crisis, fearing their district might become mere “cerulean” or “indigo.”
Politics
Democrats’ Anti-ICE Messaging Backfires, Boosts Local Ice Cream Sales
An early test for Democrats’ anti-ICE messaging in Illinois led to widespread public confusion, with voters mistakenly protesting frozen treats instead of immigration policy.
Politics
Black Lawmakers Dump on Crockett, Create New Compost Heap
Black lawmakers found a new use for Rep. Jasmine Crockett: they decided to dump on Crockett, creating fertile ground for ‘electable’ candidates.
World
Democrats Urged to Drop Out of California Governor Race or Risk GOP Win
California Democrats face pressure to drop out of the governor’s race. Leaders fear a divided field risks a GOP win. The crowded field needs consolidation.