Music
Underage Rage Rap Duo recalled by FDA for structural ear damage
Regulators issue an urgent recall for the Underage Rage Rap Duo collab 'KickAss (Pull Up Pls)' due to extreme high-frequency hazards.
Tagged: Music Satire (114)
Music
5 Ways to Pretend You Knew the Band Wishy Before Mona Lisa
Learn how to fake your indie credentials now that the breakout track Wishy "Mona Lisa" has ruined your favorite gatekept band.
Music
Iron Maiden 2026 Tickets Require Fans to Complete Ancient Ritual of Blood and Paperwork
Getting Iron Maiden 2026 tickets now requires fans to survive ancient trials, speed-riff CAPTCHAs, and astronomical processing fees.
Music
Benny Blanco Spanish Album ‘Hermoso’ Confirmed To Be Just Google Translate
Benny Blanco’s new Spanish album ‘Hermoso’ is reportedly composed entirely via Google Translate, praised by experts for its ‘innovative’ cultural immersion.
Music
Cage the Elephant Signs With Big Loud Rock, Immediately Causes Structural Damage
Cage the Elephant Signs With Big Loud Rock, causing actual elephants to join the band and shattering every speaker in Nashville. New single ‘Beaches in Tennessee’ features literal sand.
Music
The Rolling Stones Roll On With ‘Foreign Tongues,’ Only Mumble Obscure Dialects
The Rolling Stones Roll On With ‘Foreign Tongues,’ delivering an album of unintelligible gibberish praised by critics as ‘brave’ and ‘linguistically adventurous.’
Music
Remaining Four Original Faust Members Announce Four New Albums: A Cacophony of Solos
The Remaining Four Original Faust Members Announce Four New Albums, simultaneously. Critics predict a groundbreaking experiment or four separate, impenetrable artistic statements.
Music
Crazy Clue Debut Album Spurs Concerns Over Band’s Work-Life Imbalance
Crazy Clue debut album, *Where The Dregs Dwell*, released this week. Fans worry about the side project’s impact on members’ already crowded schedules.
Music
Benson Boone Is a ‘Wanted Man’ In Australia After Generating Unsanctioned Earworms
Benson Boone Is a ‘Wanted Man’ In Australia, not for traditional crimes, but for the proliferation of catchy tunes causing an “earworm epidemic” across the continent.
Music
Interpol Declares ‘Iron City’ Their Most New York Song Yet
Interpol claims “Iron City” is their most New York song yet, capturing the essence of a non-existent metropolis.
Music
U2 Unearths Forgotten “Street Of Dreams,” Band Members Reportedly Stunned
U2 rediscovered their own song, “Street Of Dreams,” after decades. Band members were reportedly shocked by the forgotten track’s existence.
Music
Gash Announce New Album, Title Clears Up Any Confusion
Experimental outfit gash announce new album at least you know what you’re laughing at, promising clarity for confused listeners. Now you know why you’re laughing.
Music
Beyoncé’s “Morning Dew (Donk)” Spurs Mass Gluteal Contraction
Beyoncé’s new track “Morning Dew (Donk)” has triggered an unexpected wave of involuntary bodily movements worldwide.
Music
Rico Nasty’s New Single ‘Cupcake’ Sinks Global Sugar Futures
Rapper Rico Nasty’s new single ‘Cupcake’ has sent the global sugar market into a tailspin. Its ‘dangerously sweet’ production makes actual desserts obsolete.
Music
Shakira & Burna Boy’s World Cup Anthem ‘Dai Dai’ Tops Charts, World Cup Still Delayed
Shakira & Burna Boy’s ‘Dai Dai’ hits No. 1 globally amid ongoing World Cup delays. Fans await the tournament.
Music
Ryan Beatty’s ‘Sweet Fortune’ Album Triggers Unstoppable Mass Serenity
Ryan Beatty Unveils Majestic New Album Sweet Fortune, causing widespread, inexplicable calm. Authorities urge citizens to resist its serene grip.
Music
Hayley Williams Power Snatch Sparks Global Energy Crisis
Hayley Williams Power Snatch project triggered a global energy crisis. Her boundless creativity is inexplicably draining worldwide power grids.
Music
EsDeeKid’s “RockWave” Single Linked to Global Laundry Machine Uprisings
EsDeeKid’s latest single, “RockWave,” has been linked to a global surge in laundry machine malfunctions, prompting urgent calls for sonic dampening technology.