NEW YORK—Rhino Records announced a massive Talking Heads reissue today. The six-LP super deluxe edition of their 1979 classic Fear of Music contains several discs of historical bonus material. However, fans quickly noticed that five of those vinyl records consist entirely of frontman David Byrne experiencing acute, unedited panic attacks in the studio.
1. LP 1: The Original Album
The first disc features the remastered 11-track masterpiece in its entirety. Listeners can enjoy classics like "Cities" and "Life During Wartime" in pristine 180-gram audio quality. This is the only portion of the box set that contains actual musical instruments.
2. LP 2: Forty Minutes of Paper Shuffling
The second disc in the Talking Heads reissue captures Byrne frantically sorting through tax documents. He mutters about municipal zoning laws while dropping his keys repeatedly. Audio engineers captured the high-fidelity sound of a man realizing he forgot to mail his gas bill.
3. LP 3: Heavy Breathing and Ceiling Fan Whirring
This disc contains a single, continuous room recording from August 1979. Dr. Helene Vasquez-Thorne, Lead Researcher at the Center for Studies That Confirm What You Already Suspected, analyzed the vinyl. "We isolated at least twelve distinct types of hyperventilation," Vasquez-Thorne said. "He is clearly terrified of his own shadow."
4. LP 4: The Sound of Someone Tapping on a Window
The band recorded this disc during a thunderstorm in Connecticut. It features Byrne whimpering softly under a heavy wool blanket while a tree branch scrapes against the glass. Producers mixed the audio in immersive Dolby Atmos to make listeners feel equally unsafe.
5. LP 5: Byrne Trying to Remember If He Locked the Front Door
This LP documents a three-hour period where Byrne walked back and forth in a hallway. He checks the deadbolt 400 times in rapid succession. "It really captures the paranoia of the post-punk era," said Marcus Bellweather, Rhino's Senior VP of Legacy Anxiety.
6. LP 6: A Live Set Where the Audience Just Stares in Silence
The final disc in the Talking Heads reissue contains a legendary 1979 concert in Boston. The band plays at double speed while 300 college students stare at them in absolute, dead silence. At press time, Rhino Records confirmed the $300 box set does not include a digital download code because "digital files are too scary to contemplate."
