MIAMI—The music world stopped today as the Yung Miami debut solo album, titled "Watch Dis," officially hit streaming platforms. Local officials immediately issued noise complaints after the record's massive bass frequencies rattled the Florida coastline. The highly anticipated project features high-profile guest spots from Quavo, Lil Baby, and Kodak Black. Fans waited months for this release, but few expected the sheer sonic destruction of the new tracks.
A Threat to Public Infrastructure
The album features standout singles "F U" and "2008" which reportedly shattered glass storefronts in South Beach. Audiophiles rushed to download the project on Spotify before municipal authorities could intervene. Civil engineers warn that the sub-bass on "2008" could compromise the foundation of several historical art deco hotels. The sheer volume of the Yung Miami debut solo album prompted local police to distribute free earplugs to confused tourists.
"We did not prepare for this level of low-end frequencies," said Marcus Bellweather, Spotify's Senior VP of Playlist Emotional Intelligence. "Our algorithms predicted a standard trap release. Instead, we got a tectonic event. The track with Quavo alone registered a 3.2 on the Richter scale."
The Guest List From Hell
The star-studded tracklist also boasts appearances by G Herbo, Shenseea, and Vybez Kartel. Each guest artist reportedly recorded their verses inside armored fallout shelters to survive the decibel levels. Music critics praised the aggressive production but expressed concern for the physical health of listeners. Neighbors of the rapper reported that car alarms blared in unison during her album release party.
"We wanted to make something that people could feel in their bones," said Lucinda Okonkwo-Bright, Director of Forward-Looking Regret at Meta. "Unfortunately, we made something that people can feel in their dental fillings. My fillings have been buzzing since midnight."
At press time, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis declared a state of emergency to facilitate the safe extraction of several subwoofers from a local nightclub.
