AUSTIN— Legendary singer-songwriter Bob Dylan kicked off his latest tour last night. Fans expected standard surprises. Instead, they witnessed the immediate rise of a Bob Dylan new guitarist who fired the rest of the band mid-song.
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The incident occurred four minutes into an unrecognizable version of 'Simple Twist of Fate.' The uncredited musician stepped to the front of the stage. He unplugged the bassist's amplifier. He then handed the drummer a bus ticket back to Nashville.
"Bob just stood near the piano and muttered something about boxcars," said Gary Thorne, a concert attendee. "We thought it was part of the arrangement. Then the Bob Dylan new guitarist started auditing the venue's merchandise sales."
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Industry insiders claim the mystery player auditioned five minutes before showtime. He reportedly impressed the folk icon by ignoring him completely. The rest of the backing group left the stage without incident. They seemed relieved to escape the unpredictable setlist.
"Our metrics show that line-up turnover creates optimal engagement," said Wren Adebayo-Kowalski, Head of Sincerity at OpenAI. "Every time a Bob Dylan new guitarist appears, stream counts spike by twelve percent among confused baby boomers."
At press time, the hired gun was spotted re-negotiating Dylan's publishing rights while playing the slide guitar solo on 'Like a Rolling Stone' with his teeth.
