Music
Madonna’s ‘Bring Your Love’ Feat. Sabrina Carpenter Raises Existential Questions
Madonna’s ‘Bring Your Love’ feat. Sabrina Carpenter drops, sparking existential debates on love and connection. What does it mean to ‘bring your love’?
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Lividus Lives: Uta Plotkin’s Return Prompts Re-Evaluation of All Reality
Lividus Lives: The Return Of Uta Plotkin has irrevocably altered space-time, prompting scientists to reorganize socks and metalheads to question reality.
Music
Sanna Marin’s Defeat Blamed on Public’s Log-Rolling Fury
Sanna Marin’s defeat in Finland’s elections wasn’t about policy, say experts. Voters were reportedly furious over the government’s perceived neglect of competitive log-rolling.
Music
Madeon Announces Victory Album, Finally Cures Existential Dread
Madeon’s new album ‘Victory’ is set for release. The producer aims to capture the triumph of minor achievements, like IKEA assembly.
Music
Bear McCreary Announces New Album, Promises Existential Dread
Bear McCreary’s new album ‘Celestial Dirge’ features rock legends and promises existential dread. The ‘Black Box’ single drops soon.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo Announces Unraveled Tour With Fellow Indie Darlings
Olivia Rodrigo’s Unraveled Tour features indie darlings like Wolf Alice and The Last Dinner Party as openers, continuing her tradition of elevating lesser-known acts.
Music
Little Simz Drops New EP, ‘Sugar Girl,’ For Reasons Unclear
Little Simz’s new EP ‘Sugar Girl’ drops next week, baffling fans and critics with its rapid release after ‘Lotus’.
Music
Kerry King Adds His Own Vocals To Expanded ‘From Hell I Rise’
Kerry King adds his own vocals and live recordings to expanded ‘From Hell I Rise’. The expanded edition of ‘From Hell I Rise’ is coming soon.
Music
Kacey Musgraves Squashes ‘Grass-Fed’ Beef With Miranda Lambert
Kacey Musgraves announced a tour and a collab with Miranda Lambert squashing their ‘grass-fed, grade A’ beef.
Music
knitting’s New Single “Here Comes” Met With Mild Confusion
Indie band knitting’s new single “Here Comes” confused listeners expecting knitting-themed music.
Music
Liam Gallagher Explains Why He Hates Suede And Manic Street Preachers
Liam Gallagher explained his disdain for Suede and Manic Street Preachers on X, calling their music ‘sad clowns crying.’
Music
Austrian Man Pleads Guilty to Attempted Attack on Taylor Swift Concerts, Cites ‘Overwhelmingly Catchy Chorus’
Austrian man pleads guilty to attempted attack on Taylor Swift concerts, claiming ‘Shake It Off’ was too catchy. Authorities baffled by pop-induced terrorism.
Music
Teutonic Titans Accept Announces Album Featuring Metallica, Ghost, Judas Priest, and Pantera Members
Accept’s new album ‘Teutonic Titans’ features collaborations with Metallica, Ghost, Judas Priest, and Pantera members. It’s a 50-year retrospective.
Music
Billie Eilish Needs A New Rihanna Album Badly
Billie Eilish desperately needs Rihanna’s R9 album. She believes it could fix her life and the world.
Music
Madonna Returns to Billboard’s Dance Charts, Triggers Global AI Meltdown
Madonna Returns to Billboard’s Dance Charts with “I Feel So Free,” causing AI systems to crash and citizens to experience uncontrollable urges for liberation.
Music
Alex G ‘Unreleased’ Tracks Officially Released, Triggering Existential Crisis
Alex G ‘unreleased’ tracks “Good Green Friend” and “In The Yard” have been officially released, causing widespread philosophical confusion.
Music
Liz Phair & Sleater-Kinney Announce Co-Headline Tour, Causing Existential Crises
Liz Phair & Sleater-Kinney Announce Co-Headline Tour, creating profound existential crises among fans struggling to reconcile their distinct ’90s sounds.
Music
Accept Unleashes *Teutonic Titans 1976-2026* with Unprecedented 50 Guests
German heavy metal veterans Accept announced *Teutonic Titans 1976-2026*, a remakes album featuring 50 guest musicians.