Music
Tori Amos’ ‘Gasoline Girls’ Sparks National Fuel Siphoning Trend
Tori Amos’s new single ‘Gasoline Girls’ has inspired an alarming trend of literal fuel siphoning across the nation, baffling authorities.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Finland’s PM Lost: Voters Prioritized Local Gnome Population
Voters cared less about policy and more about municipal gnome population data, explaining why Finland’s PM lost a tightly fought election.
Music
Snarls ‘No Lock, No Prayer’ Single Prompts Global Search for Meaning
Snarls’ new single ‘No Lock, No Prayer’ from *In Heaven There’s Rainbows* has prompted widespread societal disarray, as listeners embrace its anti-security message.
Music
Will Sheff’s ‘Extra Mile’ Album Demands Actual Extra Miles
Will Sheff’s new album, “Extra Mile,” demands listeners embark on physical journeys to fully hear its tracks. Fans are getting quite a workout.
Music
“Winston Hightower 100 Acre Wood” Sparks Existential Crisis in Retail
Retailers reported mass confusion and existential dread after attempting to stock the *Album Of The Week: Winston Hightower 100 Acre Wood*.
Music
Terra Twin Announce New EP Scumbag, Unveil First Single
Terra Twin announced new EP Scumbag. Frontman Maxim Baldry juggles acting in Lord Of The Rings. Band practice suffers.
Music
Paycheque Announce Debut Album, Promise Generic Actress Sound
Paycheque’s debut album will feature their single “Generic Actress,” aiming for a sound that’s pleasant but forgettable.
Music
Jorginho Finally Concedes Chappell Roan Did Not Make His Daughter Cry
Jorginho finally admits Chappell Roan did not make his daughter cry, apologizing for the confusion.
Music
Dimmu Borgir Announce 2026 North American Tour, Offer Free Black Metal Earplugs
Dimmu Borgir’s 2026 North American tour promises darkness. Free earplugs are included for audience protection.
Music
Primal Scream To Play ‘Xtrmntr’ In Full, Because Why Not
Primal Scream will play Xtrmntr in full on tour. Band members are reportedly confused about the album’s anniversary.
Music
Nathy Peluso Earns First No. 1 on Latin Airplay Chart
Nathy Peluso hits No. 1 with Marc Anthony. Anthony demanded a lifetime of empanadas for his help.
Music
Hayley Williams Covers ‘Cover Me Up’ To Remind Everyone About Morals
Hayley Williams covered Jason Isbell’s ‘Cover Me Up,’ subtly reminding fans of its controversial past and the artists involved.
Music
The Strokes Announce 2026 Tour Dates With Full Band Karaoke
The Strokes’ 2026 tour dates will feature karaoke sessions. Julian Casablancas will pick the songs.
Music
Ella Langley’s ‘Choosin’ Texas’ Two-Steppin’ To Sixth Week Atop Hot 100
Ella Langley’s ‘Choosin’ Texas’ stays No. 1 for six weeks as Olivia Dean’s ‘Be Her’ hits top 10, proving women are choosin’ the chart.
Music
Rock Noiseniks Parts and Labor Reunite With 20-Minute Single
Noise rock legends Parts and Labor reunite with a 20-minute, four-part single. Fans prepare for the sonic assault.
Music
Parts & Labor’s First Album In 15 Years Is Already A Set Of All Sets
Parts & Labor’s first album in 15 years, Set Of All Sets, is a double LP promising sonic chaos. Reunion tour announced.
Music
Roth, Carlton, Jonas Debut At Coachella With Teddy Swims
Roth, Carlton, Jonas make surprise Coachella debuts with Teddy Swims, leaving fans bewildered. A truly unforgettable, baffling moment.
Music
Danielle Previews New Solo Music Amid ADOR Lawsuit, Demands New Band Name
NewJeans’ Danielle previewed new solo music amid the ADOR lawsuit. She also reportedly requested a name change for the group.