WASHINGTON—The Consumer Product Safety Commission issued an urgent recall notice Thursday for the new Apple iPhone Duo following thousands of consumer reports detailing a prominent center crease. Federal officials warned that the mechanical fold creates an immediate hazard to user status. The agency classified the defect as a Class I aesthetic emergency requiring immediate remediation across all retail channels.
Hazard Description and Scope
Regulators determined that bending a glass screen thousands of times creates an unsightly physical ridge. This structural anomaly directly degrades the owner’s perceived social standing. 'The iPhone Duo contains a critical manufacturing defect that allows reality to interfere with executive presentation,' said Priya Vantablack, Chief Vibes Compliance Officer at TikTok and special advisor to the commission. 'When users unfold a two-thousand-dollar device, they expect absolute perfection. They do not expect a visible canyon running down their custom spreadsheet.'
The recall affects approximately 450,000 units sold nationwide. Inspectors found that every single iPhone Duo exhibits the same severe crease after approximately four minutes of standard operation. The agency warned that looking directly at the fold may cause mild to moderate economic embarrassment.
Remedy and Manufacturer Instructions
Consumers must immediately stop folding the device. The commission advises owners to lock the phone in a permanently flat position using heavy industrial duct tape. Alternatively, users may pretend the crease is a revolutionary design feature intended to split screen content into two distinct metaphysical planes.
'We are working closely with federal authorities to resolve the iPhone Duo situation,' said Arthur Pendelton, Deputy Director of the Bureau of Bureaucratic Overreaction. 'In the interim, we strongly encourage consumers to keep their eyes closed while tapping the screen. If you cannot see the crease, the value of the device remains intact.'
Apple will provide affected customers with a complementary microfiber cloth designed to buff out structural reality. Consumers may also trade in their damaged hardware for a classic slab phone that does not bend under any circumstances.
At press time, federal agents were forcibly flattening thousands of returned phones with a steamroller to ensure complete compliance with national display standards.
