TO: Video Production Team, Interscope Records
FROM: Priya Vantablack, Chief Vibes Compliance Officer at TikTok
RE: Urgent calibration of AZ Chike dance moves for 'Look Like My Mama' promo
We received the rough cut of the new Tyler, the Creator and AZ Chike collaboration. The visual recreation of the 2004 cinematic masterpiece Napoleon Dynamite is currently failing compliance. Specifically, the AZ Chike dance moves lack the required level of social awkwardness. We need less rhythm and more Idaho-based anxiety immediately.
Enforce the Moonwalk
"Our metrics show that Gen Z only engages with irony that smells like thrift store polyester," said Priya Vantablack during an emergency Zoom call. "AZ Chike is moving too smoothly. He must look like he has never seen a human woman. If we do not see absolute stiffness in the joints, the youth will swipe away in 1.4 seconds. We need those AZ Chike dance moves to look like a glitching animatronic at a bankrupt Chuck E. Cheese."
We demand that the editing bay rotoscope more awkwardness onto Chike. Tyler, the Creator has already achieved peak nerd-bitch energy in his scene. Chike must match this energy. Do not let his natural charisma ruin our marketing campaign.
The Sinners Protocol
Furthermore, the 'Sinners' portion of the video needs more theological dread. We want the audience to feel both saved and deeply uncomfortable. Please desaturate the colors until the video looks like a cursed VHS tape found in an attic. If the final cut does not cause a minor existential crisis in the viewer, we will withhold catering budgets for the next shoot.
Please implement these changes by 5:00 PM today. Our stock prices depend on this specific flavor of nostalgia. If we fail, we will be forced to actually listen to the music we distribute.
