LOS ANGELES—Singer-songwriter Jhené Aiko has secured her first career chart-topping record as the Jhené Aiko Westside Whimsy album debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard 200. Industry analysts confirmed the achievement marks the first R&B album by a female artist to reach the summit this year. The singer reportedly achieved the feat entirely through astral projection and extreme mindfulness.
A Victory for Chill Vibes
The album reached the top spot after a week of intense spiritual manifestation. Fans streamed the record while burning sage and organizing their crystal collections. "We saw a massive spike in lavender oil sales coinciding with the release," said Dr. Helene Vasquez-Thorne, Lead Researcher at the Center for Studies That Confirm What You Already Suspected. "Our data shows that the Jhené Aiko Westside Whimsy campaign succeeded because listeners simply drifted into a peaceful trance and forgot to turn off their streaming apps for three consecutive days."
Def Jam Recordings executives expressed immense relief at the unconventional marketing strategy. Label representatives spent the release week meditating in a circle around a single USB drive. They focused their collective energy on the Billboard 200 algorithm until the numbers shifted in their favor.
The Sound of Pure Silence
Some traditionalists questioned the sonic composition of the new record. The album features several tracks consisting entirely of wind chimes and soft whispering. "I tried to analyze the low-end frequencies on this release," stated Rusty Calhoun, retired stadium acoustician and founder of Dads Against Bass. "I found absolutely nothing but the sound of a gentle creek. It is highly suspicious and very relaxing."
At press time, Billboard officials were investigating whether Aiko’s third-eye chakra had bypassed their official streaming calculation rules.
