DETROIT—The music world celebrated today as Stevie Wonder released four previously unheard Stevie Wonder outtakes to mark the anniversary of his landmark 1976 double album. However, archival researchers quickly realized the legendary multi-instrumentalist spent his most creative era writing hyper-specific radio commercials for local Michigan businesses. The newly unearthed tracks reveal the genius behind 'Sir Duke' spent weeks crafting complex polyrhythms to sell discount dental cleanings and used auto parts.
The Funk of Plaque Prevention
The first of the Stevie Wonder outtakes, titled 'Brush Your Molars (In the Key of G),' features a blistering three-minute synthesizer solo. Wonder reportedly recorded the track for Dr. Gary Vance, a family dentist in Dearborn. "Stevie brought the same spiritual intensity to gingivitis that he brought to social justice," said Dr. Thaddeus Mbeki-Ransome, Chair of Applied Hype Studies at the Institute for Trending Phenomena. "The bassline on the flossing track rivals anything on Motown Records, even if the lyrics are just Stevie repeating the word 'fluoride' forty times."
Studio logs indicate Motown executives desperately tried to steer the artist back to his album sessions. Wonder allegedly locked himself in the studio for forty-eight hours to perfect a talk-box solo. That solo eventually became the theme song for a regional muffler repair shop. The shop owner reportedly paid Wonder in free oil changes and a box of fresh donuts.
A Symphony for Used Sedans
The longest of the Stevie Wonder outtakes is a nine-minute progressive soul jam. The track features backing vocals from the legendary group Wonderlove. It served as a radio advertisement for a local used car dealership. "He refused to release the album until we approved the mix on the commercial for Bob's Dodge Hatchbacks," said former Motown engineer Marcus Bellweather. "He kept saying the kick drum didn't capture the true essence of a pre-owned 1974 Dart."
At press time, archival teams discovered another batch of tapes containing a thirty-minute jazz-fusion suite dedicated entirely to a discount carpet warehouse in Toledo.
