Music
Pope Warns of Tyrants, Calls for Immediate Napping
Pope Leo XI, after declaring the world is being ravaged by a handful of tyrants, proposed a global nap initiative to soothe world leaders into peaceful slumber.
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Music
Jakob Nowell’s Sublime Mixtapes Raise Existential Questions About Pineapple Reggae
Jakob Nowell’s mixtape for Sublime’s festival features Ween and Oingo Boingo, sparking debate about pineapple reggae.
Music
BCMC Unveils ‘Stash,’ Album Crafted Entirely From Lint
BCMC’s new album ‘Stash’ features sounds made from pocket lint. Critics are baffled.
Music
Spacemoth Drops Existential Bassline Single, Asks ‘Do We Exist?’
Spacemoth’s new single ‘Do We Exist?’ features a bassline that makes listeners question reality. The band asks ‘Do We Exist?’ with a funky groove.
Music
Rosali’s “Other Side” Offers Fans Unprecedented Access to Her Inner Turmoil
Rosali’s new single “Other Side” offers intense emotional vulnerability. Critics praise its honesty, while fans debate its listenability.
Music
Duran Duran ‘Free to Love’ Single Promises Less Halloween, More Disco
Duran Duran’s new single ‘Free to Love’ with Nile Rodgers ditches ghosts for disco. Band hopes it’s ‘Free to Love’ them into a new era.
Music
Rihanna Surpasses 200 Million RIAA Certifications, Still No New Album
Rihanna hit 200 million RIAA certifications without new music, proving streaming catalog power is real. A decade in the making.
Music
Ekko Astral Announces Live Album To Distract From Internal Strife
Ekko Astral drops live album ‘fuck this band’ amidst internal turmoil, offering a distraction from their ongoing drama.
Music
Madonna Announces Confessions II, Hopes To Remind People She Exists
Madonna announces Confessions II, her first album in years, aiming to recapture past glory. Will it be a dancefloor triumph or a nostalgic misstep?
Music
Fire-Toolz’s New Song “And Where Is The Heart? I’ve Searched My Entire Home” Confirms Heart Is Missing
Fire-Toolz’s new single, “And Where Is The Heart? I’ve Searched My Entire Home,” confirms the artist’s long-suspected missing heart is still lost.
Music
Bodysync’s New EP Urges Fans to Take a Walk, Maybe Together
Bodysync’s new EP encourages fans to ‘TAKE A WALK TODAY,’ leaving listeners to ponder the merits of solitary vs. communal strolls.
Music
Rewire Festival Fully Embraces Sonic Spectrum, Causes Ear Bleeding
Rewire Festival fully embraced the full sonic spectrum, causing ear bleeding and organ vibrations. Residents complained. Experts were baffled.
Music
HUNTR/X Singers Say Demi Lovato Filming Them Singing ‘Golden’ Was ‘Mind-Blowing’
HUNTR/X singers felt ‘mind-blowing’ after Demi Lovato filmed them singing ‘Golden’ at a Grammy party. It was a career highlight.
Music
United Blood Festivalgoers Mosh Through Existential Dread
United Blood festival attendees found catharsis moshing through loss. The hardcore punk scene embraced the chaos for emotional release.
Music
Nine Inch Noize Recorded Their Collab LP Everywhere
Nine Inch Noize recorded their upcoming LP in studios, hotels, and planes. The album boasts sounds of travel.
Music
Eli Edwards, Xay Young Drop New Casi Album, ‘JUMPER’
Eli Edwards and Xay Young’s new duo, Casi, released their debut album ‘JUMPER,’ trading teen angst for adult anxieties. The band Casi explores mundane dread.
Music
Rolling Stones Drop Secret 7″ Single, “Rough And Twisted”
The Rolling Stones surprise-dropped their secret new single “Rough And Twisted,” insisting it’s not a stunt.
Music
J. Cole’s Chinese Basketball Era Ends After Eight Minutes
J. Cole’s Chinese Basketball Era ends after just eight minutes due to visa issues. The rapper’s CBA stint was cut short.