TO: All NBC Production Staff
FROM: Universal Television Legal Division
RE: Joe Budden Law & Order cameo safety guidelines
Please review these mandatory operational protocols. Media personality Joe Budden will guest star on tonight's episode. He plays a fictional rapper named Big Switty. Do not mention his actual music career on set. He will launch a four-hour emergency podcast in the holding cell.
Handling the Big Switty Persona
Budden signed a multi-project deal with executive producer Dick Wolf. However, crew members must exercise extreme caution during filming. Budden refused to wear the wardrobe provided by styling. He insisted on wearing his own $4,000 oversized suede vest.
"Joe demands total authenticity for this Joe Budden Law & Order cameo," said Marcus Bellweather, Senior VP of Playlist Emotional Intelligence at Spotify. "He interrupted three takes to argue about creator royalties with the fake detective. He also tried to renegotiate his character's bail amount on air."
Set Security Protocols
Do not leave open microphones near the suspect table. Budden will instinctively begin a deep-dive album review. Keep all sweatpants pressed. Do not ask him about any former co-hosts. Doing so triggers a mandatory 45-minute monologue about business equity.
"The actor playing the lead detective tried to read him his Miranda rights," said Helene Vasquez-Thorne, Lead Researcher at the Center for Studies That Confirm What You Already Suspected. "Budden muted him. He then spent twenty minutes explaining why the police department has a bad distribution deal."
MANAGEMENT NOTE: We only scheduled this Joe Budden Law & Order cameo because Dick Wolf lost a high-stakes poker game to Budden's manager last month. Please just pretend to listen to his audio equipment recommendations until wrapped.
