RECALL NOTICE: The Consumer Product Safety Commission has announced a national recall of all 2026 Billy Corgan interviews. Consumers must immediately stop reading, listening to, or processing these press tours. Recent deployments contain severe structural defects. These defects cause spontaneous, unprovoked assertions of artistic equivalence to Kanye West.
Hazard Identification
The affected media units contain excessive amounts of unchecked alt-rock grievance. During normal use, the product suddenly defends Marilyn Manson. It then launches catastrophic tangents regarding the 'hipster writer class.' These tangents generate high volumes of conversational radiation. Exposure may cause severe eye-rolling and sudden exhaustion in adult listeners.
"We detected dangerous levels of unchecked self-aggrandizement," said Dr. Helene Vasquez-Thorne, Lead Researcher at the Center for Studies That Confirm What You Already Suspected. "Our lab testing proved that a single Smashing Pumpkins press cycle can cause permanent damage to a victim's patience. The subject simply cannot stop ranting about music journalists from 1996."
Affected Units
This recall applies to all Billy Corgan interviews produced between 2010 and the present. Look for serial numbers containing the phrases 'nobody understands my genius' or 'gothic wrestling promoter.' The defect affects print, podcast, and video formats equally.
Remedy and Instructions
Consumers should immediately destroy all physical magazine copies. Disconnect your headphones if a podcast audio track mentions 1990s music critics. Return the affected media to the point of purchase for a full refund. The refund consists of one pristine copy of Siamese Dream on vinyl. That album remains completely free of conversational defects.
At press time, federal inspectors are attempting to contain a secondary leak after Corgan began comparing his synthesizer solos to the fall of the Roman Empire.
