LONDON—The legendary rock group has shocked fans by releasing a Rolling Stones bonus track featuring new drum tracks from their late percussionist Charlie Watts, reportedly recorded via a custom-built, MIDI-compatible Ouija board. The track, titled "Bad Luck Hideaway," originally sat in the vault before Mick Jagger initiated a seance at Abbey Road Studios. The band also released an accompanying music video starring actor Alexander Skarsgård as a sweaty, terrified Swedish spiritual medium who regrets accepting the gig.
Spiritual Session At Abbey Road
Engineers initially struggled to capture the late drummer's signature swing through the wooden board. "We tried a standard seance first, but the planchette kept sliding to 'G-O-A-T' over and over," said Marcus Bellweather, Universal Music Group's Senior VP of Paranormal Licensing. "We eventually wired the planchette to trigger a snare sample. Charlie's ghost adjusted quickly and laid down a solid four-four beat that really anchors the new Rolling Stones bonus track."
The band insists that the spiritual session was completely ethical and respectful. Guitarist Keith Richards reportedly spent three hours speaking to the empty air in the live room. Richards later told staff that he and Watts had merely discussed cricket and the current state of British tailoring before tracking began.
Skarsgård Regrets The Ritual
The music video features actor Alexander Skarsgård screaming in Swedish as haunted drumsticks float around his head. "The director told me I would just be lip-syncing," Skarsgård said in a statement. "Instead, they lit black candles and the temperature in the studio dropped forty degrees. I am pretty sure I am now legally possessed by the spirit of 1970s arena rock." Dr. Thaddeus Mbeki-Ransome, Chair of Applied Hype Studies at the Institute for Trending Phenomena, confirmed that supernatural marketing is the future of the industry. "Dead artists do not demand royalties or complain about touring schedules," Mbeki-Ransome noted.
At press time, the band was actively preparing to promote the new Rolling Stones bonus track by hiring a team of teenage exorcists to follow Skarsgård around his press tour.
