TO: All JYP Entertainment Staff
FROM: Operations Department
RE: Hazard Warning: Stray Kids' DominATE Experience Blu-ray Shipments
SEOUL— We are issuing an immediate recall. The logistics team has detected unsafe levels of performance energy. The new concert film, Stray Kids' DominATE Experience, is too powerful. We shipped the physical discs this morning. They are already melting warehouse shelves.
Hazardous Levels of Stage Presence
Our safety teams monitored the SoFi Stadium footage. The concert film captures the group backstage and onstage. However, the raw charisma of the performance has crystallized on the physical media. "The bonus performance of 'Chk Chk Boom' is emitting actual heat," said Gordon Flense, Deputy Undersecretary for Things That Were Fine Before. "We ran a Geiger counter over Bang Chan's center-stage solo. The machine exploded. We advise all shipping staff to wear lead-lined gloves."
We must contain the Stray Kids' DominATE Experience. Do not look directly at the disc artwork. The holographic finish can cause temporary blindness in untrained civilian eyes.
Strict Handling Protocols
"We did not prepare our global supply chain for this level of choreography," said Priya Vantablack, Chief Vibes Compliance Officer at TikTok. "The sync dancing on 'LALALALA' creates a localized magnetic field. If a fan plays this Blu-ray on a standard gaming console, it will fuse the HDMI port permanently."
Please return all unsold copies of the Stray Kids' DominATE Experience to the central vault. We are currently using the excess heat from the return pallets to power our Seoul headquarters. Do not tell the board members that we are doing this to save money on our winter utility bills.