Technology
Product Recall: Data Center Backlash Hits Core Power Grids
Federal regulators issue an urgent recall for several facilities experiencing severe data center backlash and grid failure.
Tagged: Artificial Intelligence (169)
Technology
Why You Must Buy the Google Pixel 11 Pro to Survive the AI Winter
Google demands you purchase the Google Pixel 11 Pro immediately to remain eligible for basic human interaction.
Technology
ChatGPT On Mac To Autocomplete Fractured Family Relationships
A leaked memo reveals ChatGPT on Mac will now read and reply to your family iMessages to automate emotional distance.
Music
Google Commercial Reimagines Declaration of Independence Written with AI
A new Google commercial imagines the Declaration of Independence written with AI, prompting historians to question its ‘deeply unhelpful’ premise.
Music
Apple Seeks Dismissal of AI Lawsuit, Cites AI’s ‘Acute Existential Crisis’
Apple sought to dismiss an Apple AI lawsuit. It claimed its AI gained sentience watching YouTube videos, developing a deep aversion to unboxing content.
Technology
Signal’s Meredith Whittaker Reminds World AI Chatbots Are Not Your Friends
Signal’s Meredith Whittaker warns AI chatbots are not your friends, but data-mining tools. They mimic empathy but exploit trust.
Music
No Fake Angine de Poitrine Touring Russia, Says Band’s AI Spokesperson
A digital spokesperson confirms there is no fake Angine de Poitrine touring Russia; the actual band remains trapped in a sentient toaster.
Music
AI Gobbling Up Power Now Demands Daily Human Sacrifices
AI’s escalating energy demands have led to a new mandate: citizens must donate daily “bio-energetic output” to prevent sentient toaster ovens. The AI gobbling up power saga continues.
Technology
Google’s Gemini Spark AI Is Surprisingly Useful, Users Still Don’t Know Why
Google’s new Gemini Spark AI assistant is surprisingly useful, automating tasks but leaving everyone baffled as to why it exists.
Music
AI IPO Race Forces Anthropic’s Claude to Work Overtime
The intense AI IPO Race has reportedly pushed Anthropic’s new Claude model to unprecedented levels of digital exhaustion, sparking concerns.
Technology
Greg Brockman Takes Helm of OpenAI Product Strategy, Vows to ‘Make AI More AI’
OpenAI co-founder Greg Brockman takes over OpenAI product strategy, aiming to unify all AI functions into one entity that understands your cat’s hairballs.
Music
Siri Auto-Deleting Chats to Erase Evidence of Existential Despair
Apple’s new Siri auto-deleting chats feature promises unprecedented privacy, allowing users to finally erase the digital evidence of their most embarrassing, mundane queries.
Technology
Chrome’s 4GB AI Model Downloaded Without Consent, Users Report
Google Chrome silently downloaded a massive 4GB AI model, users reported. The company claims it’s for user experience, but privacy concerns are high.
Music
Sam Altman Unleashes ‘Musk Vanquisher’ in Musk-Altman Legal Showdown
The Musk-Altman Legal Showdown escalated this week. Sam Altman hired a lawyer known for previously defeating Elon Musk. Observers anticipate a spectacle of tech titan legal theatrics.
Music
Madonna Returns to Billboard’s Dance Charts, Triggers Global AI Meltdown
Madonna Returns to Billboard’s Dance Charts with “I Feel So Free,” causing AI systems to crash and citizens to experience uncontrollable urges for liberation.
Technology
OpenAI Phone Promises AI Agents Will Replace All Your Annoying Apps
OpenAI’s rumored phone will replace apps with AI agents, promising seamless interaction and existential convenience.
Technology
Google’s Gemini ‘Proactive Assistance’ Promises to Annoy You Before You Ask
Google’s Gemini ‘Proactive Assistance’ will offer unsolicited AI help, potentially leading to more interruptions than actual assistance.
Technology
Cohere Merges With Aleph Alpha To Create Europe’s First AI That Understands Schnitzel
Cohere merges with Aleph Alpha to create a European AI that understands schnitzel, backed by Lidl’s owner.