Music
Saddest Day 2026 Passes Recalled After Causing Structural Sadness
Regulators recall Saddest Day 2026 passes due to extreme risks of spontaneous weeping and structural emotional damage.
Tagged: Metalcore (9)
Music
Polaris Tribute Track 'Without You' Outsources Sadness to AI
Polaris Tribute Track 'Without You' automates the band's grief for Ryan Siew with help from Goldman Sachs.
Music
A New Day Signed to DAZE to Prevent Members From Doing Their Algebra Homework
A leaked memo reveals A New Day signed to DAZE solely to disrupt the teenage metalcore band's high school algebra homework schedule.
Music
Wage War Landfall Album Features 6 Absurd New Metalcore Gym Requirements
The new Wage War Landfall album forces metalcore fans to adopt dangerous new workout habits at the gym.
Music
Converge Announce Saddest Day 2026 Lineup To Maximize Regional Melancholy
Converge’s Saddest Day 2026 festival lineup aims for maximum regional melancholy with acts like Chat Pile and Cave In.
Music
Beartooth Announces ‘Pure Ecstasy’ Tour, Promises Existential Dread
Beartooth’s ‘Pure Ecstasy’ tour promises catharsis and chaos. Fans prepare for intense performances and existential dread.
Music
Converge Debut New Songs Live, Immediately Announce More Songs
Converge debuted new songs live, overwhelming fans with sheer volume. Band promises more new material imminently.
Music
Converge Announce Second Album of 2026, Citing ‘Hum of Hurt’ As Muse
Converge Announce Second Album of 2026, ‘Hum of Hurt,’ inspired by a mysterious low-frequency sound only 4% of people hear, plunging fans deeper into sonic despair.
Music
Killswitch Engage 2026 US Tour Promises Mildly Annoying Decibel Levels
Killswitch Engage’s 2026 US tour with Machine Head promises significant noise. Band members aim for ‘mild inconvenience’ levels.