Business
Wall Street Braces for Brazil Election by Building Giant Money Bunker
Wall Street braces for the upcoming vote by building a giant subterranean bunker to survive democratic outcomes.
Tagged: New York City (16)
World
World Leaders Convene to Complain About Group Project
Frustrated world leaders convened to complain about their group project, accusing each other of failing to do any of the research.
Politics
UN General Assembly Relies On Paid Seat Fillers To Prevent Empty Hall
An official inquiry reveals the UN General Assembly uses paid seat fillers to keep the main hall looking full during boring diplomatic speeches.
Business
Broadcom Stock Falls Because Investors Fear Any Tech Company Doing Well Is A Sign Of The End Times
Investors dumped Broadcom stock because solid financial earnings are clearly a trap set by a vengeful God.
Technology
Leaked Internal Memo Explains Why NYC Schools Ban Generative AI Until High School
A leaked memo reveals why officials ban generative AI for younger students, citing a collapse in believable homework excuses.
Business
Stock Futures Rise as Wall Street Invents New Oracle of Delphi
Investors gather on Wall Street to perform ancient rituals, hoping stock futures rise in anticipation of major tech earnings.
Politics
Municipal Grocery Stores Recalled After Multiple Customers Contract Extreme Bureaucracy
Regulators issue an urgent recall for municipal grocery stores after shoppers contract severe bureaucracy and liquid zoning law exposure.
Music
Interpol Declares ‘Iron City’ Their Most New York Song Yet
Interpol claims “Iron City” is their most New York song yet, capturing the essence of a non-existent metropolis.
Music
Alicia Keys and Nas Perform ‘Empire State of Mind’ For Knicks Championship
Alicia Keys and Nas performed ‘Empire State of Mind’ at Tribeca Fest after Knicks win. The song celebrated New York’s victory.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo Sings Her ‘Stupid Song’ For Honking Cabs
Olivia Rodrigo sings her ‘stupid song’ in Central Park and a corner store. Her relatable video captures urban despair.
Music
Hayley Williams Covers ‘Cover Me Up’ To Remind Everyone About Morals
Hayley Williams covered Jason Isbell’s ‘Cover Me Up,’ subtly reminding fans of its controversial past and the artists involved.
Music
Krugman’s Oil Speech Sparks Global Debate Over Price of Everything
Krugman’s oil speech unexpectedly veered into the economics of emotional labor and coffee beans, leaving global markets baffled but oddly prosperous.
Music
Haywire Covers Trapped Under Ice, Summons Cro-Mags’ Harley Flanagan
Haywire’s concert strategy reached new heights with a Trapped Under Ice cover in Baltimore and summoning Harley Flanagan in NYC.
Music
Jay-Z Announces 2026 Yankee Stadium Shows, Sparks Temporal Anomalies
Jay-Z Announces 2026 Yankee Stadium Shows, causing temporal chaos. Fans struggled to buy tickets for an event years away, while officials braced for future unknown.
Music
BTS Will Answer ARMY’s Questions At ‘ARIRANG’ Fan Event
BTS will answer ARMY’s questions at the ‘ARIRANG’ fan event in NYC via AI. Expect ‘immersive’ album displays.
Music
Ratboys Rip Through Deep Cuts, Exhausting Local Pigeons
Ratboys ripped through deep cuts and new songs at Nightclub 101. The performance reportedly sent local pigeons fleeing.