Business
Warner Music Synch Department Merges Entire Staff Into Single Sentient AI Spreadsheet
The Warner Music synch department has merged into a single sentient AI spreadsheet to maximize corporate synergy.
Tagged: Ticketmaster (11)
Music
Zach Bryan New Song Features Lana Del Rey Singing Through a Tin Can
Zach Bryan new song 'Lies' features Lana Del Rey singing into a tin can on his latest surprise EP.
Politics
Music Industry Bills Before Congress: 6 Proposed Laws Threatening Your Playlists
Congress considers sweeping music industry bills before Congress that target streaming algorithms, ticket fees, and mandatory Pitbull guest verses.
Music
Animal Collective Feels Shows Added After Screaming Squirrels Clog Ticket Servers
Animal Collective announced more Feels shows after Ticketmaster's automated security flagged their experimental vocals as a malicious cyber attack.
Music
Billy Joel Brain Damage Revealed in Shocking Ticketmaster Monopoly Trial
A federal antitrust court revealed that performing live caused Billy Joel brain damage due to extreme stadium acoustics.
Music
Iron Maiden 2026 Tickets Require Fans to Complete Ancient Ritual of Blood and Paperwork
Getting Iron Maiden 2026 tickets now requires fans to survive ancient trials, speed-riff CAPTCHAs, and astronomical processing fees.
Music
Live Nation Antitrust Case Resolved Following Inspiring Oval Office Friendship Circle
The Live Nation antitrust case is resolved after an Oval Office meeting. Read the official press release on this historic corporate friendship.
Music
Garth Brooks Setlist Memo Leaks Online Ahead Of Arena Tour
A leaked memo details the terrifying emotional protocols regarding the Garth Brooks setlist for his upcoming arena tour.
Music
Taylor Swift Concert Terror Plot Derailed By Eras Tour Ticket Scarcity
A man convicted in a Taylor Swift concert terror plot was foiled not by security, but by the impenetrable Eras Tour ticketing system. His scheme never got off the ground.
Music
Trump Live Nation Settlement Linked to Previously Unseen “Fan Appreciation” Fund
Trump Live Nation settlement reports reveal a focus on “fan satisfaction” for wealthy lobbyists. The DOJ deal avoids trial, angering regular concertgoers.
Music
Kid Rock Unleashes Fury Over DOJ Live Nation Settlement
Kid Rock remains utterly disgusted by the DOJ’s Live Nation settlement, demanding a more “visceral and public” corporate dismantling.