Politics
Trump-Putin Fuel Deal Brokered Over Shared Love Of Unregulated Diesel
Peace talks stalled after a secret Trump-Putin fuel deal prioritized tractor lubricant over international diplomacy.
Tagged: Vladimir Putin (9)
Politics
Lukoil Asset Deal Simplifies Foreign Policy Into Liquid Crude
A new Lukoil asset deal successfully converts complex geopolitical tension into a simple, high-yield energy portfolio.
Politics
Russian Election Results Recalled Over 103% Vote Totals
A formal product recall has been issued for the Russian election results after inspectors discovered vote totals exceeded 103% of the population.
Business
Russian Exile Votes Spark New Corporate Remote Voting Initiative
A leaked corporate memo reveals plans to monetize Russian exile votes through a new digital subscription service for long-distance political despair.
Politics
Kremlin Veterans on the Ballot Sweepstakes Launched by Russian Election Officials
Russian officials put Kremlin veterans on the ballot to simplify voting. Voters can win prizes like cooking oil and bread vouchers.
Politics
Russian Parliamentary Election Recalled Due To Pre-Selected Results Error
Russia recalls its Russian parliamentary election after a glitch prints the final victory tallies three days before any votes were cast.
Politics
Russian Election Snoozefest Prompts Government to Introduce Mandatory Espresso Breaks
To combat the historic Russian election snoozefest, Moscow introduces mandatory espresso breaks and techno music to keep voters awake.
Politics
Intelligence Reports Reveal Putin Believes America Is Run Entirely By A Large Dog
Leaked intelligence reports suggest Vladimir Putin bases his entire US foreign policy on the belief that a golden retriever is president.
Music
Putin Pledges Support for Iran, Offers Moral Backing for ‘Whatever’
Putin pledges support for Iran, promising “existential” and “vague” solidarity. The Kremlin offered moral backing for ‘whatever,’ including shared feelings.