LOS ANGELES—A leaked courtroom transcript from the Superior Court of California reveals rapper The Game defended his new album, The Documentary III, against allegations of targeted hostility. The Compton artist insisted under oath that he ain't diss nobody on the record, despite the project containing 47 minutes of highly specific, aggressive personal insults directed at various global figures. The legal proceedings began after several high-profile musicians filed a joint injunction regarding the album's lyrical content.
PROSECUTION: Mr. Taylor, you claim you "ain't diss nobody" on track four, yet you rhyme the name of Kendrick Lamar with the phrase "fraudulent diminutive savior who owes me forty dollars." How do you explain this?
THE GAME: That is a general observation. I was talking about a fictional character. He just happens to live in Compton and wear the same shoe size as Kendrick.
PROSECUTION: You also spend an entire verse describing Drake's exact home address and his childhood fear of moderate drafts. Is that also a general observation?
THE GAME: I am a storyteller. I build worlds. If Drake accidentally walked into my world and got his feelings hurt by my factual descriptions, that is on him. I ain't diss nobody.
PROSECUTION: Let the record show the witness is currently wearing a t-shirt that says "Joe Budden Is A Podcasting Coward Who Can't Bench Press His Own Ego."
THE GAME: This is promotional merchandise for my wellness brand. It is about positive energy.
PROSECUTION: Mr. Taylor, who exactly did you target on this record if not these individuals?
THE GAME: Nobody. I targeted the concept of existence. I insulted the mailman. I insulted the concept of dental hygiene. I called out the entirety of the 1996 Chicago Bulls roster except Luc Longley. But I ain't diss nobody in the rap game.
PROSECUTION: You literally called out the presiding judge in the third verse of your lead single.
THE GAME: That was a tribute. I respect the court. Even if the court wears cheap robes from a Halloween outlet store.
At press time, the judge held the rapper in contempt of court after The Game started recording a live diss track on his phone in the witness box.