WASHINGTON—The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission issued a nationwide recall today for all physical and digital copies of the 2006 progressive metal album Blood Mountain. Officials announced the recall in conjunction with the Blood Mountain anniversary, citing severe auditory and physical hazards. Regulators identified multiple cases of neck strain and sudden spatial disorientation among listeners. The band’s third studio album contains highly volatile time signatures that violate federal safety guidelines.
Hazard and Affected Units
The federal recall affects approximately 1.2 million units of the album worldwide. This includes all vinyl pressings, compact discs, cassette tapes, and digital streams. The primary hazard stems from the record's notoriously complex instrumentation. "We traced several cases of whiplash directly to the track 'Capillarian Crest'," said Barnaby Quill, Senior Analyst of Unsolicited Forecasts at Goldman Sachs. Quill noted that the album's frenetic tempo changes can cause listeners to spill hot beverages. The Blood Mountain anniversary has unfortunately amplified these risks as older fans attempt to recreate youthful mosh pits.
Authorities urge consumers to stop listening to the record immediately. The government classified the LP's drum fills as a Class II hazard. These fills present a moderate risk of temporary vertigo. The original Warner Bros. Records release did not include adequate warning labels regarding these syncopated rhythms.
Remedy and Replacement
Consumers who own the affected media should return it to their point of purchase. The manufacturer will provide a full refund or a replacement copy of a much safer, mid-tempo soft rock album. "We must protect the public from these wildly adventurous riffs," said federal safety inspector Brenda Vance. "No citizen should endure three consecutive time-signature shifts without a certified harness." The agency expects the recall process to last through the end of the fiscal year.
At press time, federal agents were seen loading crates of vinyl into a reinforced containment facility while wearing heavy-duty ear protection.
