LONDON— Electronic producer Bullion, born Nathan Jenkins, announced his new album Nearly. The record is expected to arrive sometime this century. This marks Bullion’s first full-length release in years. Fans have eagerly awaited new material. They worried the artist might have forgotten about music entirely.
A Collection Of Sounds
Jenkins confirmed the existence of Nearly via a hastily scribbled note. It was taped to a pigeon. The pigeon delivered the message to a local music blog. “We’re thrilled the music is nearly done,” said Brenda Glickman, President of the Society For Abandoned Albums. “It’s been a long wait. We almost gave up hope.”
The lead single, “Francis Ford,” features vocalist L Devine. The track explores themes of existential dread. It also touches on the proper way to pronounce “bruschetta.” Jenkins reportedly spent months perfecting the pronunciation. He insisted on absolute accuracy for the song. This dedication to detail is a hallmark of Bullion’s work.
Future Sounds Nowish
Bullion’s previous album, Affection, garnered critical acclaim. It featured guest spots from Carly Rae Jepsen and Panda Bear. Since then, Jenkins has been busy. He produced tracks for other artists. Sources say he was also distracted by a particularly challenging jigsaw puzzle. The puzzle depicted a single shade of beige.
Fans expressed cautious optimism about the new album. “I’ll believe it when I hear it,” said Barry Grumman, founder of the Bullion Is Real fan club. “But I’m hopeful Nearly will be worth the anticipation.” The producer has promised a full tracklist soon. He also mentioned plans for a world tour. Dates remain unconfirmed.
At press time, Jenkins was reportedly seen searching for a reliable calendar. He needed to determine when “nearly” might actually become “now.”
This article is satirical fiction by Badum.ai. All quotes, people, and events described are entirely fictional and intended for comedic purposes only.
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