BOSTON—A federal grand jury opened inquiry proceedings this week into the collaborative project known as Droneflower, investigating whether the dark folk and metal alliance represents a sophisticated money-laundering scheme for local independent record stores. Prosecutors allege that the project, fronted by singer Marissa Nadler and Cave In guitarist Stephen Brodsky, utilized atmospheric distortion to hypnotize unsuspecting college radio DJs. The following transcript excerpt details the cross-examination of Dr. Thaddeus Mbeki-Ransome, Chair of Applied Hype Studies at the Institute for Trending Phenomena, who served as an expert witness for the prosecution.
Q: Dr. Mbeki-Ransome, in your professional opinion, how does the music of Droneflower affect the average consumer?
A: The combination of Nadler’s ethereal gothic vocals and Brodsky’s heavy, down-tuned riffs creates a cognitive dissonance. Our laboratory testing showed that after hearing 'Sky Burial,' eighty percent of listeners immediately purchased a black turtleneck and three damp logs.
Q: And did this sonic profile allow the defendants to bypass traditional promotional channels?
A: Yes. They did not need publicists. They simply played a chord at Saint Vitus Bar and three booking agents in Belgium started weeping. It bypasses the cerebral cortex entirely.
Q: We have seized ledgers showing payments made in 'vintage guitar pedals' and 'feelings of existential dread.' Is this standard industry practice?
A: For major labels, no. They use direct deposit. But for Droneflower side projects, this is the legal tender of the Boston underground. I have seen a man trade a 1978 Big Muff pedal for a three-bedroom apartment in Allston.
Q: To your knowledge, did the band use these hypnotic tracks to inflate their physical vinyl sales?
A: My research suggests the vinyl itself is actually made of compressed ash and old poetry journals. If you play 'Drive It In' backward, it actually cancels your Spotify Premium subscription and registers you as a green party voter in Massachusetts.
