TO: All Regional Playlisters
FROM: Marcus Bellweather, Senior VP of Playlist Emotional Intelligence at Spotify
RE: Emma Ogier debut album Containment Protocol
NASHVILLE—Team, we face an immediate crisis regarding the upcoming Lost Highway release. The highly anticipated Emma Ogier debut album, titled Fly 1111, threatens our automated mood categorizations. We cannot determine if she belongs on 'Sad Girl Indie' or 'Cottagecore Twang.' Our algorithms are currently overheating in the Nashville server farm.
The Multi-Genre Threat
"We ran her new single 'Hands Tied' through the system," said Marcus Bellweather during a leaked Zoom call. "The acoustic guitar triggered our Folk sensors. However, her work with Dominic Fike activated our Hyper-Pop alerts. We cannot have artists crossing these streams. It confuses the advertisers."
The Emma Ogier debut album represents a dangerous level of musical independence. She developed this sound in Houston during pandemic isolation. Now, she plans to tour with Hovvdy. This makes her entirely untargetable by our standard demographic metrics.
Mandatory Quarantine Protocols
Effective immediately, do not place any tracks from the Emma Ogier debut album on playlists containing the word 'Chill.' This music contains actual human emotion. That emotion violates our terms of service regarding passive background listening.
Please direct all user queries to pre-approved corporate pop playlists. We must protect our listeners from unregulated Texas-born authenticity at all costs. If we allow this album to succeed, artists might start writing their own songs again.
