Music
Sampa The Great Nu Zamrock Album Delayed Due to Simon Says Rules
The Sampa The Great Nu Zamrock rollout halts as listeners take the new single 'Simon Says' too literally.
Tagged: Spotify (29)
Music
Suno AI Music Models Spark Panic Among Coffeehouse Baristas
The new Suno AI music models promise to replicate indie singer-songwriters, leaving local baristas fearing for their creative monopoly.
Music
Staff Picks Leak Reveals Music Critics Accept Bribes in Artisanal Mustard
A leaked court transcript reveals that coveted Staff Picks placements are actually bought with artisanal mustard and rare condiments.
Music
Wage War Landfall Album Features 6 Absurd New Metalcore Gym Requirements
The new Wage War Landfall album forces metalcore fans to adopt dangerous new workout habits at the gym.
Music
Tara Lily Break The Motion Release Forces Nation Into Forced Choreography
The new Tara Lily 'Break The Motion' single forces immediate physical compliance. Listeners must dance by executive order.
Music
Mexican Musical Weapon Deployed as Carín León Announces Sphere Residency
Carín León prepares to deploy his Mexican musical weapon to conquer the Las Vegas Sphere in an explosive new residency.
Music
Leaked Internal Memo: Skaiwater New Album Forces Emergency Corporate Rebranding
A leaked corporate memo reveals Spotify is scrambling to update its vibe algorithms following the Skaiwater new album drop.
Music
The 5 Best Songs of the Week Subpoenaed by Federal Grand Jury
The DOJ subpoenaed the 5 best songs of the week in an antitrust probe, revealing the dark, cheese-funded world of music blogging.
Music
Mac DeMarco Streaming Drop Includes Audio of Artist Doing His Laundry
The new Mac DeMarco streaming drop features four secret albums, including a 45-minute recording of the indie star doing his laundry.
Music
Resavoir New Album Leak Confirmed as Part of Secret FAA Weather Scheme
Leaked memo reveals the Resavoir new album 'Above the Clouds' is actually an FAA weather control project.
Music
Ella Langley Ties Lil Nas X for the Longest Running Billboard Number One in Legal Dispute
A court transcript reveals the shocking bovine conspiracy behind how Ella Langley ties Lil Nas X at the top of the Billboard charts.
Music
Graham Hunt Track Sparks Federal Lawsuit Over Fuzz-Pop Overdose
A federal grand jury investigates the new Graham Hunt Track, 'Guardian Angel’s Arms,' for hazardous levels of Midwestern fuzz-pop distortion.
Music
Carly Rae Jepsen Motivation Revealed as Nationwide Mind Control Scheme in Court
Court testimony reveals Carly Rae Jepsen Motivation is actually a classified acoustic stimulant designed to force physical labor.
Technology
Hakii Light Headband Exposed in Court as CIA Mind Control Device
Court transcripts reveal the Hakii Light headband is actually a mind-control device designed to inflate streaming numbers.
Politics
Finland Election Concession Sparked By Over-Optimization, Group Reports
A corporate press release explains how the Finland election concession was actually a highly optimized synergy event.
Music
The 5 Best Songs Of The Week Memo Orders Staff To Like Them Or Face Firing
Leaked memo reveals staff must love The 5 Best Songs Of The Week or face immediate termination by the algorithm.
Music
Karol G Invents Tropicoqueta Cocktail To Quench Thirsty TropiTour Fans
Karol G’s Tropicoqueta cocktail is a hit on her TropiTour. Latin music continues its global rise as Shakira passes Taylor Swift on Spotify.
Music
Gracie Abrams Done ‘Pointing Fingers’ After Realizing Other People Exist
Gracie Abrams is done ‘pointing fingers’ in songs, citing past carelessness. Olivia Rodrigo takes notes.