WASHINGTON—The Bureau of Historical Accountability has issued a nationwide historical blame recall for all remaining grievances regarding the Altalena ship incident of 1948. Regulators warned that the current circulating stockpiles of political outrage contain defective emotional components. These components can combust when exposed to modern coalition politics. The agency initiated the recall following recent statements by regional leaders trying to salvage political capital from deep-sea wreckage.
Defective Grudge Hazard
The recall affects all units of historical blame manufactured between June 20, 1948, and the present. Regulators warn that these outdated grudges present a severe risk of cognitive dissonance. Users may experience sudden, uncontrollable urges to debate mid-century naval skirmishes in modern cabinet meetings. This hazard directly threatens the stability of contemporary parliamentary coalitions.
"We found that the original outrage was not rated for 21st-century hyper-partisan usage," said Gordon Flense, Deputy Undersecretary for Things That Were Fine Before. Flense noted that the Altalena affair had remained safely submerged until political actors attempted to weaponize the corrosion. "Using 76-year-old munitions to secure right-wing votes is like refueling a modern fighter jet with rancid whale oil. It will explode in your face."
Affected Units and Remedies
Consumers possessing any active resentments toward David Ben-Gurion or Menachem Begin must immediately cease using them. The bureau advises citizens to return these thoughts to the nearest municipal library. Affected units include any arguments overheard in cafes, sovereign state-building theories, and deep-sea diving expeditions meant to score cheap points against dead prime ministers.
"My family kept a pristine, mint-condition grievance about the ship in our attic for decades," said local consumer Arthur Pendelton. Pendelton admitted he tried to polish the grudge last week after reading The Times of Israel. "Suddenly, the whole thing corroded. It turned into a sad, transparent attempt to distract from current municipal garbage collection issues."
At press time, federal regulators warned that if citizens do not surrender their historical blame voluntarily, the government will replace them with brand-new, sterile grievances about municipal zoning laws.
