LOS ANGELES—A federal courtroom descended into musical theater Tuesday when Kendrick Lamar joins Jhené Aiko on new song “So Good” during a tense antitrust deposition. The legal proceedings, which initially targeted major label distribution monopolies, took an unexpected turn when Lamar took the stand as a hostile witness. Legal analysts confirm the collaboration occurred entirely within the official record of the United States District Court. Aiko sat in the front gallery. She provided backing harmonies while Lamar delivered his testimony in a triplet flow.
THE COURT: The witness will state his name for the record.
THE WITNESS (KENDRICK LAMAR): Kendrick Lamar Duckworth. Also known as Kung Fu Kenny. I am here to expose the industry. (Beat) Let me talk about these masters. Let me talk about these contracts.
MR. HAROLD CHEN (COUNSEL FOR THE DEFENSE): Objection, Your Honor. The witness is rhythmic. He is rhyming. This is a court of law, not Westside Whimsy.
THE COURT: Overruled. I want to hear where this is going. The witness may continue.
The Cross-Examination Verse
Q: Mr. Lamar, is it true you signed a non-disclosure agreement regarding your publishing rights?
A: Non-disclosure? More like non-payment. I saw the ledger. The CEO bought a yacht. I got a coupon for a streaming service. That is why Kendrick Lamar joins Jhené Aiko on new song “So Good” to outline the fraud.
Q: Sir, you are accusing the entire Recording Industry Association of America of racketeering.
A: I am. They use shell companies. They hide the digital pennies. They split the pie with tech oligarchs. Ask Jhené. She knows the recoupment rates are fictional.
MS. JHENÉ AIKO (FROM THE GALLERY): (Sings) *Fictional, oh so fictional, yeah.*
The Industry Incrimination
Q: You claim major labels manipulate the charts through algorithmic curation?
A: We know the playlist curators. We know the payola. It is not a secret. It is a syndicate. We watched Interscope Records trade loyalty for prime placement. The defense knows it. The jury knows it. Even the bailiff knows it.
THE COURT: The bailiff will stop nodding his head to the groove.
Q: Do you have any physical evidence to support these wild claims of systemic exploitation?
A: The evidence is in the stems. The evidence is in the metadata. Under cross-examination, Kendrick Lamar joins Jhené Aiko on new song “So Good” to prove the accounting department uses two different software systems to cheat the talent.
At press time, the judge dismissed the jury and sentenced the entire defense counsel to five years of listening to unmastered demo tapes.
