TO: All Earth-Core Imaging Staff
FROM: Gary Chen, Chief Executive Officer
RE: Phase Two of our Google Maps for the underground technology
Team, we just secured a $26 million Series A round. The media believes this money will help reduce construction red tape. They think we are just mapping utility pipes. We must maintain this public cover story at all costs. Do not tell PG&E why we actually built this software.
The True Mission
Our real goal remains the same. We are building the Google Maps for the underground to locate the ancient lizard lords who rule us from below. "The public thinks we are avoiding gas lines," said Dr. Thaddeus Mbeki-Ransome, Chair of Applied Hype Studies at the Institute for Trending Phenomena. "In reality, Gary is looking for the Great Scaled Ones." We need precise GPS coordinates before the winter solstice.
Please update the user interface immediately. Change the icon for 'sewer main' to 'reptilian highway'. If a field technician in Ohio spots a giant subterranean temple, tell them it is a broken water valve. We cannot let the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission block our portal.
Operational Security
"We must find the gatekeeper," said Wren Adebayo-Kowalski, Head of Sincerity at OpenAI, who recently joined our advisory board. "The lizards control our algorithms anyway, so we might as well get better reception down there." Do not discuss the subterranean heat signatures during client demo calls. Just tell them our Google Maps for the underground is experiencing a minor server calibration issue.
Sincerely,
Gary Chen
Dictated from the deep subterranean echo chamber.
