WASHINGTON—The Federal Election Commission launched a sweep of local precincts today following concerns that a massive surge in Martian voting could tilt competitive suburban districts. Investigators began demanding physical proof of terrestrial birth from any voter arriving in a metallic spherical craft. This sudden focus on Martian voting has energized third-party election watchdogs across the country.
Establishing Planetary Residency
Local volunteers struggled to verify the paperwork of several gelatinous entities who waited in line for three hours. Officials noted that current voter registration forms do not include a checkbox for the Olympus Mons province. Critics argue that voter registration standards must adapt to the realities of interstellar migration.
"We detected significant anomalies in districts with high concentrations of copper pipes," said Gordon Flense, Deputy Undersecretary for Things That Were Fine Before. "These beings do not possess social security numbers. They do, however, possess highly concentrated electromagnetic fields that reset our electronic voting machines to the year 1994."
The Red Planet Bloc
Political analysts warn that Martian voting trends could disrupt traditional polling data. Early data suggests the Martian demographic favors candidates who promise to dismantle the Earth's magnetic field. This puts both major parties in a difficult position ahead of the winter solstice.
"We must secure our atmospheric borders," said Harold Spire, director of the Coalition for Earth-First Ballots. "If we allow every carbon-based vapor cloud to participate in our democracy, our local school boards will face total collapse within three moon cycles. We need a strict pen-and-paper audit of all entities emitting a low-frequency hum."
At press time, election workers in Ohio were attempting to communicate with a glowing green orb by repeatedly pointing to a Spanish-language translation sheet.
