Music
Putin Pledges Support for Iran, Offers Moral Backing for ‘Whatever’
Putin pledges support for Iran, promising “existential” and “vague” solidarity. The Kremlin offered moral backing for ‘whatever,’ including shared feelings.
Latest · page 142
Music
Supreme Court Declares Cell Location Data ‘Just Kinda Out There’ For Cops
The Supreme Court struggled with police cell location data, with justices admitting confusion and one asking if ‘digital fences’ could deter squirrels.
Music
‘Beauty and a Beat’ Dominance Declared a National Emergency
Bieber & Minaj’s ‘Beauty and a Beat’ hitting No. 1 causes global seismic activity & involuntary dancing. A national emergency is declared.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo’s ‘Drop Dead’ Hits No. 1, Earns National Holiday
Fans celebrate the chart-topping success with coordinated sobbing.
Music
Stagecoach 2026 Featured Sydney Sweeney’s Lingerie Karaoke
Stagecoach 2026 became a celebrity branding event, featuring Sydney Sweeney’s lingerie karaoke bar over actual country music.
Music
Ducks Ltd. Cover Go-Betweens Song, Earns Nod From Actual Ducks
Ducks Ltd.’s new cover of “Easy Come, Easy Go” impresses local ducks. They praise the jangle, but question the lyrics.
World
Finland’s PM Lost Because Voters Hated Her Dance Moves
Finland’s PM Sanna Marin lost election due to controversial dance moves. Voters preferred stoicism over spirited routines.
World
Rosalía’s Neck Brace Performance Elevates ‘Euphoria’ To New Heights
Rosalía’s acting debut on Euphoria features her in a bedazzled neck brace. She calls acting less painful than touring.
Entertainment
Spider-Noir Trailer Drops, Promises Gritty Web-Slinging
Prime Video’s Spider-Noir trailer reveals a gritty detective story. This Spider-Noir focuses on Parker’s investigation, not just his powers.
Music
Drake Confirms Iceman Release Date, Promises Album Will Melt Stereotypes
Drake confirms his new album ‘Iceman’ drops May 15. The project reportedly explores themes of cold, hard truths with frosty lyrics.
Music
Queens Of The Stone Age Reunite With Nick Oliveri, Immediately Regret It
Queens Of The Stone Age reunite with Nick Oliveri at Joshua Tree for one song. Oliveri was later removed from the premises.
Music
Pupil Slicer & Tayne Union Forges “W.N.” Single Of Unspeakable Industrial Dread
Pupil Slicer & Tayne unite for “W.N.,” an industrial track of dread and bombast. Listeners are simultaneously terrified and addicted.
Music
Madonna Debuts New Song, Fights Addison Rae For Mic
Madonna debuted new music at Club Confessions. Drunk Addison Rae grabbed her mic. A battle ensued. Madonna eventually won.
Music
Michael Jackson Film Soars, Proving Audiences Crave ‘King of Pop’ or ‘Just Pop’
Michael Jackson film achieves blockbuster status, proving audiences are hungry for pop legends or just a good thriller.
Music
KPop Demon Hunters Soundtrack Achieves Undead Chart Status
The KPop Demon Hunters soundtrack has inexplicably held a spot on the Billboard 200 Top 10, baffling experts and challenging known chart physics.
Music
Foo Fighters’ <i>Your Favorite Toy</i> SNL UK Debut Prompts National Inquiry
Foo Fighters’ Your Favorite Toy SNL UK debut sparked national concern. The band performed with actual childhood toys, prompting widespread emotional reckoning.
Technology
Galaxy Book 6 Edge Leaks So Much It Now Owns a Press Conference
The Galaxy Book 6 Edge has reportedly leaked itself so thoroughly that Samsung executives are now receiving unsolicited promotional emails from the device.
Music
G.O.P. Senator Clears Path to Advance Fed Chair Nominee with Completed Crossword
A G.O.P. Senator is prepared to advance a Fed Chair nominee after successfully completing a Sunday crossword. His office lauded the rigorous mental preparation.