WASHINGTON—The Consumer Product Safety Commission issued an urgent recall notice Thursday for all US midterm elections produced since 1946. Federal inspectors identified a severe structural defect that causes the ruling party to lose structural integrity every two years. Consumers must immediately cease using the electoral process to prevent sudden institutional collapse.
Hazard Identification And Risk Assessment
The recall affects approximately 400 million units of voting software, paper ballots, and political campaign flyers. According to regulatory filings, US midterm elections manufactured between 1946 and 2026 contain a fundamental design flaw. The product consistently fails under normal operating conditions. This failure routinely strips the incumbent administration of its legislative power.
"We detected a critical failure in the feedback loop," said Brenda Vance, Chief Compliance Officer at the Federal Bureau of Institutional Mechanics. "The US midterm elections were designed to provide stability. Instead, they cause catastrophic political paralysis every single cycle. The product is simply not fit for public consumption."
Affected Units And Mandatory Remedy
Regulators urge citizens to return all official voting materials to their local election office. The government will not provide a cash refund. Consumers will instead receive a standardized, non-partisan wooden block to stare at until the next presidential cycle.
"The internal mechanisms are completely stripped," said Agnes Periwinkle, Head of Audience Sedation at Live Nation and guest consultant for the recall board. "Every time voters attempt to steer the country, the steering wheel detaches entirely. We recommend immediate pacification of all registered voters until we can redesign the system."
Consumers who experience dizziness or sudden rage after viewing television ads should report the incident to federal authorities immediately. At press time, inspectors warned that attempting to repair US midterm elections with temporary gerrymandering will automatically void the federal warranty.
