Politics
Internal Memo Orders Campaign Staff to Increase Anti-Muslim Attacks
A leaked internal memo instructs political campaign staff to increase anti-Muslim attacks to boost weekend fundraising goals.
Tagged: Politics (72)
World
Product Recall Notice: Israel's Election System Recalled For Critical Hardware Glitch
Regulators issue an urgent product recall notice for Israel's election system due to endless voting loops and voter fatigue.
Politics
6 Government Tasks Serbia's Strongman Assigned To College Sophomores After Loss
Serbia's strongman handed state control to college sophomores after losing a historic election.
Politics
Recall Issued For Israel Pivotal Election After Severe Voter Exhaustion Discovered
Regulators issued a recall for the Israel pivotal election after discovering severe voter exhaustion and defective coalition mechanisms.
Politics
NBA Player Kyle Kuzma Demands Final Approval Over Barack Obama Speeches
A leaked memo shows NBA player Kyle Kuzma requiring former President Barack Obama to submit all rally speeches for pre-approval.
Technology
Politicians Launch Data Center Backlash Campaign To Win Suburban Voters
CloudLair Inc. addresses the growing data center backlash with useless buzzwords and plans for giant outdoor speakers.
Politics
Campaign Trail Cruelty Guidelines Distributed To Democratic Staffers
Internal memo outlines approved campaign trail cruelty limits for field staff during the upcoming midterm election season.
Politics
Arkansas Democrats Discover Geographic Opening Is Just a literal Ravine
Local strategists realized the long-awaited Arkansas Democrats opening was actually a massive, muddy ravine running through the Ozarks.
Politics
Barack Obama Demands Change Is In The Air But Audience Demands Febreze
Barack Obama promised that change is in the air during a rally, but audience members claimed the room just smelled like old hot dogs.
Politics
Sanna Marin Concedes Election After Forgetting to File Her Daily Rave Log
Sanna Marin concedes election in Finland after forgetting to submit her mandatory daily rave log to electoral officials.
Politics
Recall Issued For House Battleground Map Due To High Risk Of Uncontrolled Eye Strain
Federal regulators issued a urgent recall for the House battleground map due to severe risks of voter eye strain and confusion.
Politics
DOJ Establishes Official Heckling Sanctioned Zones At Political Rallies
Federal officials announce heckling sanctioned zones to allow crowds to settle rally decorum disputes without charges.
Politics
Electoral Wipeout Threatens Entire Industry Of Paid Democracy Experts
A court transcript reveals top consultants facing an electoral wipeout tried to outlaw counting numbers to save their business model.
World
Argentine Judge Rules Meme Coin Fraud Is Just How Money Works Now
An Argentine judge dropped the meme coin investigation after court testimony proved all money is just a collective hallucination.
Politics
Pre-Emptive Election Results Suffer Major Defect in Alaska Senate Race
Regulators issued a safety recall for pre-emptive election results in Alaska after discovering a defect that produces unwanted outcomes.
Politics
GOP Launches Campaign Ad Headache to Streamline Internal Feuds
The GOP unveiled its official campaign ad headache strategy to streamline internal party feuds into full-blown political migraines.
Politics
Federal Search Forces Rep. Ilhan Omar to Move Into These 5 Absurd Locations
Rep. Ilhan Omar considers absurd new housing options following a sudden federal search of her Washington home.
Politics
Benjamin Netanyahu Takes Courtroom Stand To Detail DIY Regime Change Operation
Leaked court transcripts show Benjamin Netanyahu explaining his business model to topple Iranian regime leadership through third-party vendors.