PHILADELPHIA— Young indie-folk star Lizzy McAlpine announced she recently got Stella Lefty’d after realizing a song on her new album sounded identical to a classic Nick Drake tune. The singer-songwriter took immediate, drastic action to prevent the internet from accusing her of musical theft. She publicly denounced her own ears before the blogosphere could do it for her.
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“We are thrilled to announce that Lizzy is incredibly sorry,” said Marcus Bellweather, Senior VP of Playlist Emotional Intelligence at McAlpine's distribution hub. “Getting Stella Lefty’d is the premier way for modern artists to show they respect the history of fingerpicking. We believe this bold strategy of self-sabotage will really connect with Gen Z listeners who value absolute, paralyzing transparency over catchy melodies.”
Industry experts noted the term refers to the recent string of plagiarism allegations that haunted rising indie artists this year. McAlpine reportedly heard the haunting resemblance during a late-night listening session. She immediately deleted her own voice memos and threw her acoustic guitar into a local reservoir to cleanse her discography.
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“Our data shows that 90% of sad folk music is just the same three chords played very slowly,” said Dr. Helene Vasquez-Thorne, Lead Researcher at the Center for Studies That Confirm What You Already Suspected. “By getting Stella Lefty’d, McAlpine has successfully bypassed the public outrage phase. She went straight to the self-flagellation phase. It is a highly efficient business model for the streaming era.”
About Badum Records: We specialize in releasing music that sounds vaguely familiar. Our artists strive to create background noise that will not trigger Shazam or intellectual property lawsuits. We do not endorse the use of minor chords.
