Music
Recall Notice Issued for Bad Wolves Jolene Cover After Overexposure Risks
Regulators issue a recall for the Bad Wolves Jolene cover due to extreme audio interference and dangerous vocal crossover levels.
Tagged: Heavy Metal (24)
Music
Iron Maiden Announce Surprise 2027 Tour Following Five-Minute Retirement
Iron Maiden announce surprise 2027 tour dates just minutes after declaring a permanent break from live performances.
Music
Iron Maiden Announce 2027 Tour Dates While Fans Start Pre-Ordering Walker Upgrades
As Iron Maiden announce 2027 tour dates, fans prepare their retirement accounts and walker upgrades for the 50th-anniversary trek.
Music
Metallica Stage Agenda Exposed in Shocking Federal Court Deposition
A court transcript reveals how the Metallica stage agenda policy accidentally exposed a conspiracy to replace political speeches with drum solos.
Music
Metallica Unveils New Agendas To Influence You With Their Bullshit World Tour
Metallica announced a new tour pledging no agendas to influence you with their bullshit, right before pitching a $900 VIP brand package.
Music
Metallica Sphere Setlist Features No Heavy Metal or Electric Instruments on Night Two
The second Metallica Sphere setlist shocked fans in Las Vegas with an all-acoustic polka set featuring no electric instruments.
Music
Metallica Las Vegas Monster Recalled After Escaping Sphere Screen
Regulators recall the Metallica Las Vegas monster after the 3D visual escaped the Sphere screen and fled into the Nevada desert.
Music
Saint Vitus Bar Dances Again with 6 New Safety Rules
The legendary Saint Vitus Bar dances again under strict new rules, including mandatory pool noodles and polite headbanging consent forms.
Music
Black Sabbath Reunion Cancelled Because Andrew Watt Was Too Excited
A final Black Sabbath reunion album is officially dead because producer Andrew Watt was simply too excited for Tony Iommi.
Music
Brent Hinds' Estate Sues Mastodon Over Alleged $80,000 Buyout and Album Cover Theft
In a new lawsuit, Brent Hinds' estate sues Mastodon over an $80,000 buyout offer and unauthorized skull art.
Music
Black Sabbath Witch AI Album Recalled Due to Spontaneous Crop Failure
Regulators have recalled the Black Sabbath witch AI album after reports of sour milk, indoor fog, and localized crop failure.
Music
Wage War Landfall Album Features 6 Absurd New Metalcore Gym Requirements
The new Wage War Landfall album forces metalcore fans to adopt dangerous new workout habits at the gym.
Music
BABYMETAL 2026 Tour Riders Demand Unspeakable Amounts of Apple Juice
The BABYMETAL 2026 tour kicks off with massive rider demands, including tons of apple juice and a screaming closet for Halestorm.
Music
Canada-US Tensions Spark Urgent Concert Speeches from Iron Maiden and Christopher Cross
Iron Maiden and Christopher Cross spoke out against rising Canada-US tensions during their Toronto shows, pleading for bilateral trade peace.
Music
Iron Maiden 2026 Tour Setlist Features 17 Heavy Metal Songs About Administrative Scheduling
The Iron Maiden 2026 Tour kicked off with a terrifying 17-song setlist focused entirely on corporate office dread.
Music
Iron Maiden 2026 Tickets Require Fans to Complete Ancient Ritual of Blood and Paperwork
Getting Iron Maiden 2026 tickets now requires fans to survive ancient trials, speed-riff CAPTCHAs, and astronomical processing fees.
Music
Dave Mustaine Calls Out “Dickhead” Journalist Onstage, Demands Better Questions
Dave Mustaine called a journalist a “dickhead” onstage for asking bad questions. He demanded better interview techniques during Megadeth’s farewell tour.
Music
Gorillaz’ Roskilde Set Cut Short for Lullaby Prep, Sparking Acidic Outrage
Gorillaz’ Roskilde set cut short to prepare for a “Sensory Soothing Lullaby Hour,” drawing harsh criticism from Uncle Acid who called them “soft as baby shit.”