Music
Ryan Hemsworth Track Recalled Due to Hazardous Portuguese Psych-Pop Levels
Regulators issue an urgent recall on the new Ryan Hemsworth track due to hazardous levels of Portuguese psych-pop and extreme yearning.
Tagged: Synthpop (5)
Music
Haute & Freddy Touch Touch Lawsuit Exposes Illegal Pop Hook Cartel
A shocking court transcript reveals the secret cartel behind Haute & Freddy Touch Touch and the global monopoly on catchy choruses.
Music
Boy Harsher Track Recalled by Federal Regulators After Causing Acute Melancholy
Federal regulators issue an urgent safety recall for the new Boy Harsher track due to extreme risks of sudden, uncontrollable brooding.
Music
Desire’s “Summer Skin” Now Constitutes 3% Of Earth’s Atmosphere
Desire’s new track, “Summer Skin,” has infiltrated the Earth’s atmosphere, scientists confirm. The song’s persistent shimmer is causing widespread environmental changes.
Music
Sharpie Smile’s Cole Berliner Unveils ‘The Black Door,’ Album Contains Only Silence
Sharpie Smile’s Cole Berliner shocked fans by announcing ‘The Black Door,’ a solo album featuring no audible sound. Critics call it “brave.”