BRASÍLIA—The Brazilian Ministry of Consumer Safety issued an urgent product recall notice today for the President Lula campaign remix of the Bad Bunny protest cover. Regulators classified the political track as a Class I acoustic hazard. The government urges all citizens to delete the MP3 files immediately. The track reframes the themes of American influence around Brazilian sovereignty.
Severe Acoustic Vibrations Detected
Officials launched the recall after the song’s heavy sub-bass frequencies cracked three windows at the Ministry of Agriculture. The government advises citizens to stop playing the Bad Bunny protest cover on any speaker larger than a toaster. "The sub-bass on this track violates federal decibel limits for political speech," said Dr. Eliana Rocha, Director of the Brazilian Bureau of Sonic Integrity. "We detected dangerous levels of anti-imperialist resonance in the lower mid-range."
The affected units include all digital streams, WhatsApp audio forwards, and bootleg CD-Rs distributed in Rio de Janeiro. The campaign originally based the song on the Bad Bunny track "LO QUE LE PASÓ A HAWAii." Officials fear the heavy rhythm section may cause citizens to march involuntarily.
Remedy and Replacement Protocol
"We advised the administration to dilute the bassline with some light acoustic guitar," said Rusty Calhoun, retired stadium acoustician and founder of Dads Against Bass. "A sovereign nation should not rely on frequencies that upset local livestock. We recommend a safe, mid-tempo bossa nova instead." Citizens can exchange the dangerous Bad Bunny protest cover at any local post office for a government-approved, silent PDF of the national constitution.
At press time, federal technicians were struggling to contain a 50-foot wave of rhythmic energy currently traveling down the Amazon River.
