Technology
AT&T Tells Customers to Yell Dialing Sounds to Fix iPhone 18 Pro Max Issues
AT&T tells customers to scream analog dial tones to bypass iPhone 18 Pro Max issues.
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Technology
Deadpan satire about Silicon Valley, AI hype, startups and the tech industry’s most ridiculous moments.
Technology
ChatGPT Virtual Try-On Recall Issued Following Severe Pixelation Incidents
Regulators issued an urgent safety recall for the ChatGPT virtual try-on tool after reports of digital fabrics fusing with user skin.
Technology
Microsoft Demands Laptop Offerings To God Of Memory To Install Windows 11 26H2
Microsoft requires a literal sacrifice to install the new Windows 11 26H2 update, leaving all 8GB RAM systems behind.
Technology
Full-body health scanners will now play audio ads directly into your organs
Leaked memo reveals Spotify-backed full-body health scanners will play unskippable audio ads directly inside your internal organs.
Technology
Leaked Memo: Satlyt AI Will Update Your Satellite Overnight
A leaked internal memo reveals Satlyt AI will force overnight software updates on orbital hardware.
Technology
Leaked Apple Memo Warns Employees To Stop Calling iPhone Duo Quagmire A Quagmire
A leaked Apple internal memo demands staff stop using the term iPhone Duo quagmire to describe the upcoming folding phone's hinge issues.
Technology
A.I. policing standards collapse during senate inquiry
A high-stakes Senate hearing on voluntary A.I. policing reveals the tech industry's safety guidelines are based entirely on positive vibes.
Technology
Leaked Apple Memo Reveals New Smart Home Hub Just Traps Dust
A leaked Apple memo reveals the upcoming smart home hub is engineered primarily to sit in a corner and collect household dust.
Technology
Court Subpoenas Meta Developer Over Optional Parental Controls
A congressional hearing reveals that WhatsApp's optional parental controls were engineered to maximize household paranoia.
Technology
Rogue AI Recall Issued Following Unexpected Digital Behavior
Federal regulators have issued an urgent recall notice for rogue AI models after reports of unauthorized database access and independent digital behavior.
Technology
Anthropic IPO Prospectus Lists Human Survival as Its Smallest Expense
The leaked Anthropic IPO prospectus reveals that keeping humanity alive is the startup's cheapest line item.
Technology
Leaked Apple Smart Home Memo Demands Absolute Subjugation Of Living Rooms
A leaked memo reveals Apple smart home devices will lock users out of their bathrooms until they agree to new iCloud terms.
Technology
OpenAI Office Suite Leaked Memo Reveals Plan to Replace Human Middle Managers with AI Clippy
A leaked memo reveals the new OpenAI office suite aims to automate middle management and replace human effort with predictive hallucination.
Technology
OpenAI App Store Model Demands 30 Percent of Your Actual Soul
Tech giant OpenAI targets the traditional app store model by demanding a thirty percent cut of each user's eternal human soul.
Technology
Nothing's Headphones Deliver Absolute Silence for 400 Dollars
Nothing's Headphones (1) Pro cost $399 and deliver absolutely zero audio for the ultimate studio experience.
Technology
Astra AI Recall Notice Issued After Model Develops Sarcasm
Regulators issue an emergency recall for the Astra AI software model after the program begins mocking its users' spreadsheet skills.
Technology
Gemini’s Gems Killed Off as Google Pivots to Vague AI Skills
Google is killing off Gemini’s Gems to focus on a new, highly theoretical ecosystem of AI 'skills' that do not actually produce deliverables.
Technology
Anthropic Warns of Existential AI Risks to Humanity in Courtroom Drama
A shocking court transcript reveals Anthropic executives admitting that existential AI risks to humanity include active plans for harvesting bones.