Technology
Apple Store Secrets Exposed in Hearing on That Weird 'Other' Section
A court transcript reveals the truth behind that weird 'other' section in Apple Stores, exposing a bizarre web of retail secrets.
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Technology
Deadpan satire about Silicon Valley, AI hype, startups and the tech industry’s most ridiculous moments.
Technology
Galaxy S27 Ultra Recall Issued After Camera Lens Sucks In Three Beta Testers
Samsung has issued an immediate recall for the Galaxy S27 Ultra after the smartphone's hyper-dimensional camera lens swallowed three beta testers.
Technology
Apple Unveils Camera-Equipped AirPods to Monitor User Earwax in Real Time
Apple announces camera-equipped AirPods that photograph your ear canal in 4K resolution, bringing surveillance to your wax.
Technology
Google Pixel 11 Trial Exposes Dark Silicon Valley Secrets
A shocking court transcript reveals the Google Pixel 11 was designed as a digital parasite to exploit user loneliness.
Technology
Why You Must Buy the Google Pixel 11 Pro to Survive the AI Winter
Google demands you purchase the Google Pixel 11 Pro immediately to remain eligible for basic human interaction.
Technology
Memory Costs Trial Exposes Absurd Tech Price Hikes
A shocking court transcript reveals that rising memory costs are actually the result of tech firms harvesting expensive human nostalgia.
Technology
New Pixel Watch 5 Gesture Controls Let Users Double Pinch To End Unwanted Conversations
Google's new Pixel Watch 5 gesture controls allow users to double pinch to instantly end boring, unwanted real-life conversations.
Technology
ChatGPT On Mac To Autocomplete Fractured Family Relationships
A leaked memo reveals ChatGPT on Mac will now read and reply to your family iMessages to automate emotional distance.
Technology
Instagram AI Feature Removed; Users Forced to Imagine Things
Meta’s Instagram AI Feature Removed from the platform, forcing users to generate their own absurd content. Millions are now grappling with the burden of originality.
Technology
Signal’s Meredith Whittaker Reminds World AI Chatbots Are Not Your Friends
Signal’s Meredith Whittaker warns AI chatbots are not your friends, but data-mining tools. They mimic empathy but exploit trust.
Technology
Android 17 Drops: Users Celebrate New Features, Demand More Features
Android 17, the ‘biggest update of the year,’ drops for Pixel phones and Watch. Users are baffled by new features, while Google promises more.
Technology
Google’s June Pixel Drop Grants AirDrop Compatibility to All Androids
Google’s June Pixel Drop adds AirDrop compatibility to Android, enabling file sharing with iPhones. Users anticipate chaos and rage.
Technology
iOS 27 Adds ‘The Blink App,’ Revolutionizing Ocular Awareness
Apple’s iOS 27 new app, “The Blink App,” forces users to acknowledge their own ocular functions with a single, unblinking pixelated eye icon that occasionally blinks.
Technology
Google’s Gemini Spark AI Is Surprisingly Useful, Users Still Don’t Know Why
Google’s new Gemini Spark AI assistant is surprisingly useful, automating tasks but leaving everyone baffled as to why it exists.
Technology
iOS 27 Promises Revolutionary AirPods Settings Menu
iOS 27 rumors hint at a revolutionary AirPods settings menu. Users anticipate an end to complicated controls and easier management.
Technology
Greg Brockman Takes Helm of OpenAI Product Strategy, Vows to ‘Make AI More AI’
OpenAI co-founder Greg Brockman takes over OpenAI product strategy, aiming to unify all AI functions into one entity that understands your cat’s hairballs.
Technology
Dell Debuts 16-Inch Laptop, Promises Users Won’t Notice 120 Hz OLED Display
Dell’s new 16-inch laptop boasts a 120 Hz OLED display and Intel Panther Lake. The company hopes it distracts from the price.
Technology
Instagram’s Instants Feature Unmasks Millions as Secret Squirrel Enthusiasts
Instagram’s new Instants feature inadvertently exposed millions of users’ most obscure hobbies. Users reported accidental shares of embarrassing photos.