TO: All Marketing Staff
FROM: Strategic Brand Synergies Division
RE: Leveraged Doja Cat Collaborations and Hardware Placement
Effective immediately, all promotional material regarding Doja Cat must emphasize her musical partnerships. We need maximum coverage on her work with SZA and Latto. These forced interactions drive hardware sales. Our smart glasses must appear in every single interview. Doja Cat collaborations are currently our highest-performing Trojan horse for facial surveillance technology.
Mandatory Media Talking Points
Field agents must strictly enforce the narrative. Doja Cat must frequently mention how much she loves working with SZA on tracks like 'Take Me Dancing.' She must also express unbridled joy about performing live with Latto. Immediately after discussing these women, she must pivot to her Meta glasses. The transition must seem completely organic to teenage consumers.
"We noticed a 14% drop in camera-glasses adoption among young adults," said Lucinda Okonkwo-Bright, Director of Forward-Looking Regret at Meta. "We realized pop stars were not talking about their friendships enough. By linking Doja Cat collaborations to smart eyewear, we normalize wearing computers directly on your eye sockets. It is simple behavioral modification."
Protocol For Live Appearances
When Doja Cat appears on stage with Latto, the glasses must remain active. The feed will stream directly to our data farms in Virginia. If she takes them off, cut her microphone audio immediately. We do not pay performance fees for un-monitored artistic expression.
Our primary goal remains total market saturation. Doja Cat collaborations provide the perfect emotional distraction. While fans analyze the lyrics, our sensors analyze their retinas. Keep pushing the SZA angle heavily through the weekend.
SIGN-OFF: Please ensure this strategy stays internal. If the public learns we only pair top female artists together to sell voice-activated facial cameras, stock prices will plummet before Q3.
