NEW ORLEANS—The ongoing legal battle over the new Dawn Richard single "chuuuuurch" took a bizarre turn in federal court yesterday. A leaked transcript from the Eastern District of Louisiana exposed a massive tax avoidance scheme. Label executives apparently use extra vowels to bypass IRS filters. Independent artists now face intense scrutiny over their spelling choices.
Q: To your knowledge, does the spelling of Dawn Richard chuuuuurch constitute a religious exemption?
A: Yes. We added four extra 'u's to the title. That legally classifies the WAV file as a physical place of worship.
Q: And the IRS accepted this?
A: Absolutely. They cannot tax a sanctuary. We also ordained the drummer, Greg Paul, as an archbishop of funk.
Q: So the stream revenue from Dawn Richard chuuuuurch goes directly into a tax-free tithe basin?
A: Correct. We funnel all publishing royalties through the parish. It is a very clean system.
Q: How long has the music industry operated this way?
A: Since 1997. We registered the entire Stereogum server directory as a non-profit monastery last April.
Q: Does guest artist Anjelika 'Jelly' Joseph know she is technically a nun under federal law?
A: She signed the covenant. Her vocal runs are legally classified as non-taxable incense.
At press time, the judge ordered all major streaming platforms to pass a physical collection plate during the song's bridge.
